2009 Novena in Honor of St. Aelred

This year the Novena in Honor of St. Aelred begins two days before the start of Lent.

If we want Lent to be a time of prayer and meditation, one way we can start is by praying the Novena in Honor of St. Aelred.

Over the years, I have been asked, "Why do you choose St. Aelred who lived almost a thousand years ago, as your patron saint?"

Jesus lived more than a thousand years before that, so I would hope centuries are not a disqualification. As the Jesuits have St. Ignatius, and the Franciscans, St. Francis, and the Dominicans, St. Dominic, so we have an answer for selecting the holy abbot of Rievaulx as our patron saint.

For 20 years the saintly father presided as abbot over the largest monastery in England with a gentle hand and loving spirit. Never in 20 years was a monk "expelled."

At that hour in history being a monk was the in thing. The 500 priesta, brothers and helpers at the Abbey of Rievaulx made it the largest but only one of the dozens of Cistercian and Benedictine monasteries in England – with many more on the continent.

Rievaulx was nestled in far northern England in the valley of the Rie river (Rie – vaulx (valley), from its French foundation by St. Bernard of Clairvaux). (In memory of the trickling waters always audible at the Rievaulx Abbey, we always have a gurgling fountain at the entrance of our St. Aelred House.)

What is the answer to the question, "Why St. Aelred?" My friend, the answer is his holiness.

His beautiful "Jesus" prayer, in its simplicity sums up the closeness of St. Aelred to Jesus, and that, my friends, sums up what holiness is: closeness to Jesus.

O good Jesus,

let your voice sound in my ears

So that my heart and mind and inmost soul

May learn of your love,

And the very depths of my heart

Be joined to you

Who are my greatest delight and joy.

And you might say, he expanded that prayer into a whole theology of love and friendship. Love your neighbor, love God. God is Love, and, therefore, he said, "God is Friendship." We can't say we love God if we don't love the people around us. And we can't love the people around us without loving God Who is Love. I have written a full length book on St. Aelred's spirituality and sexuality, but, my friend, St Aelred is our patron because of his holiness, not because of his sexuality, and he is holy WITH his sexuality and a model for us to be holy WITH our sexuality, whatever it may be.

Novena in Honor of St. Aelred Of Rievaulx

Recommended: Feast of St. Aelred January 12 Feast of St. Aelred March 3 Anytime during the year Prepared for use of the members of The Order of St. Aelred St. Aelred Friendship Society saintaelred@gmail.com Abbot Richard R. Mickley, O.S.Ae., Ph.D. 2005

The Feast of St. Aelred, March 3, is usually the ninth day of the Novena in honor of St. Aelred. Of course, the beginning day and the final day can be adjusted. In many places the anniversary date of St. Aelred's birthday in heaven, January 12, is also observed as St. Aelred Day. Here's how the Novena works. Each day of the nine-day novena read the novena commemoration of St. Aelred and the St. Aelred novena prayer. Participate in the St. Aelred commemoration and Prayer of the day, remembering you are united in spirit with all other members who are remembering St. Aelred. The novena can also be prayed at other times during the year.

Day 1. Feb 23, 2009
We remember Aelred
as a youth and teenager.

Aelred was born in Hexam in northern England in the year 1110. His father was "pastor" of the Roman Catholic Church at Hexam. For priests to marry was officially not permitted, but it was so common that it was not a scandal, even some popes were sons of priests. Hexam was a parish which had many relics (tombs, bones, bodies of famous English saints). Aelred acquired his father's devotion to these saints and later wrote about them. Many years later, in Aelred's lifetime, his father gave up the "parish" and his wife and entered a monastery for the remainder of his life on earth At the age of 15 or thereabouts, Aelred's father sent him to live in the court of King David I of Scotland. He spent 10 years there and became a trusted aide of the King, who also was later proclaimed a saint of the church. At the court Aelred got a good education, but his greatest delight, he tells us, "was to love and be loved." He had loves and friends, but he also had a broken heart many times. In the intrigues of the court, True Friendship of the type Aelred yearned for, was virtually unknown.

Novena Prayer
O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you I come into the presence of our beloved Jesus.
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachings
Of love and friendship,
Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.
St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 2.Feb 24, 2009
Aelred enters novitiate
and takes up "religious life.

At age 25 in the year 1135, Aelred abruptly left the court and entered the new monastery in northern England which St. Bernard, the abbot of Clairvaux in France, had sent some monks to establish just two years before.

It was a hard life and the weather was cold and severe (which may account for the mere 57 years of Aelred's earthly life). The monks "camped" in temporary huts on the river banks in the valley of the beautiful, but often ice and snow covered, River Rye, while they and the workers constructed the monastery that eventually became the largest in all England.

While trying to adjust to this life so different from the court, Aelred began to yearn again for True Friendship, and to see the possibility of attaining True Friendship in a community centered on Christ. Slowly he began to explore what True Friendship could be.

Within eight years he was named novice master, with the heavy responsibility of guiding the spiritual formation of the new monks who were already entering the monastery in increasing numbers.

Novena Prayer
O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you
I come into the presence of our beloved Jesus.
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachings
Of love and friendship,
Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.
St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 3. Feb 25, 2009
Abbot of Revesby

The Abbey of Rievaulx decided to establish a new abbey at Revesby, further to the east, but still in northern England.

This was the first of the five daughter houses of Rievaulx, and Aelred was selected to be the first abbot of the new Abbey.

So he left whatever small comforts had been built into Rievaulx in those first ten years and went to Revesby and started all over again, with cold temporary huts, and much manual labor, back-breaking work that he flung himself into for the next two years from 1145-to 1147.

Novena Prayer
O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you
I come into the presence of our beloved Jesus.
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachingsOf love and friendship,
hrough Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips
St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 4. Feb 26, 2009
Abbot of Rievaulx.

In 1147 the first abbot of Rievaulx died and Aelred was elected to return from Revesby and become the Abbot of the "Motherhouse," Rievaulx.

It is located in a scenic valley, dubbed the "valley of light," ever massaged with the sound of water running through the monastery grounds in the stream of the River Rye. (This, by the way, is the inspiration of our monastery fountain of bubbling water.)

For the next 20 years St. Aelred was distinguished as a capable, gentle, and caring administrator of an ever-growing abbey, an abbot who never expelled a monk in 20 years.

The abbey reached a peak of 500 priests, brothers, and workers, and even today the massive shells of chapels, chapter rooms, dining halls, and dormitories are still a tourist attraction in northern England.

Novena Prayer

O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you
I come into the presence of our beloved Jesus.
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachings
Of love and friendship,
Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.
St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 5. Feb 27, 2009
Holy Abbot.

In addition to his administration of the Abbey, St. Aelred began to work on the writings which have earned him enduring recognition as one of the "late fathers of the church," a vast array of writings on saints, history, love, friendship, religious life, and uncounted sermons and spiritual works.

Slowly in the monasteries of today his works are being translated from the original Latin into today's English. (A few years ago I asked a Trappist monk from Boston if he "ever heard" of St. Aelred. He informed me that he was the one who is translating St. Aelred's sermons.)

St. Aelred wrote the lives of several English saints, and became a sought-after preacher for special occasions. He delivered the funeral oration when King St. David died in 1153. He began works on two of his best-known works, The Mirror of Love, and Spiritual Friendship.

Novena Prayer

O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you
I come into the presence of our beloved Jesus.
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachings
Of love and friemndship
Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.
St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 6. Feb 28, 2009
St. Aelred, Apostle of Friendship.

In "Spiritual Friendship "St. Aelred gives us his classic definition of "Friendship." He says "Friendship is oneness of heart, mind and spirit, in things human and divine, with mutual esteem, and kindly feelings of approval and support."

In "Mirror of Love" he departs from generalities and gets down to the nitty gritty of what a True Friend is and does.

... one with whom I am deeply united in bonds of love, can find rest, pour out my heart, have sweet conversation, find a harbor of calm, lay bare my secrets, receive a comforting kiss, cry with and rejoice with, talk with for advice, feel togetherness even when we are far apart, and with heart and mind together we are bound in the closest ties of love.

There can be no doubt what Aelred means by True Friendship. And that is his lifelong gospel. It is not that he deviates from the Gospel of Jesus or the teachings of John. He theologizes that if God is love as St. John teaches, then God is Friendship.

"St. Aelred is known as a Christocentric twelfth-century monastic humanist. His most famous work, "Spiritual Friendship," which explores the relationship between spiritual and human friendship in a monastic context, reveals his own conscious homosexual oreitnation and gives love between persons of the same gender its most profound expression in Christian theology." (Dictionary of the Middle Ages, Vol. 4, American Council of Learned Societies.

Novena Prayer

O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you
I come into the presence of our beloved Jesu
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachingsOf love and friendship,
Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.

St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 7. March 1, 2009
Lover, Friend, Christian Humanist

St. Aelred was very personal and honest in his writings about love and friendship. St. Anselm and some of Aelred's other contemporaries wrote about love and friendship, but in a much more clinical way, even though they were also gay.

Aelred, Abbot of Rievaulx, on the other hand, in his self-revealing style, wrote about his teenage loves, about his "true" loves in the monastery, about his own yearnings and experiences.In asserting the need for friendship and love. Aelred legitimized the physical and spiritual embrace of other human beings – and in the context of a religious community. In this context, all loves are reconciled in Jesus and all are at peace in the love of the community.

Honored as a medieval Christian humanist, Aelred had a great optimism about the capability of human beings to love each other in good communities centered on Jesus. When he entered the monastery, he did not leave the world made by God or the exercise of love which gives harmony to every day life.

St. Aelred found his answer to the meaning of life in its human dimension in the love of the brothers at Rievaulx – brother to all in community life, lover to some in his True Friendships. He found the love of God made real and physical by experiencing together love of God and individual human beings.

St. Aelred unabashedly insisted on the need for human loves, and in his "Mirror of Love" he pours his heart out in lament over the death of the monk Simon, with whom he felt a True Friendship.

"St. Aelred deserves to be the patron saint of gays and lesbians because he was true to himself – never covering up his sexuality which was same-sex attraction, and he was not pulled fully into the prevailing sex-negative anti-body dualistic philosophy of St. Augustine," writes one SAeF member at the conclusion of a seminar on the life and works of St. Aelred.

Novena Prayer
O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you I come into the presence of our beloved Jesu
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holinessAnd follow your teachings
Of love and friendship,Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.
St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 8. March 2, 2009
Suffered from arthritis.

We all identify with Jesus who took on all the weakness and limitations of humanity to be one with us and died for love of us in the agonizing suffering of the passion and Cross. St. Aelred especially identified with the sufferings of Jesus for us. The last ten years of his life on earth he was wracked with excruciating pain of arthritis.

His sufferings were intensified with the unbearable pangs of kidney stones. Sometimes when he had to stay in a little room near the infirmary, his friends would gather around his bed to cheer him up. (One's imagination runs wild if gays were as cheerful then as they are now in the Philippines.)

Novena Prayer

O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you I come into the presence of our beloved Jesus.
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachings
Of love and friendship,
Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.

St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Day 9. March 3, 2009

Feast of St. Aelred
Patron of The Order of St. Aelred, OSAe,
Patron of the St. Aelred Friendship Society,
Patron of responsible sexuality.

Many scholars have turned their attention to St. Aelred studies. Worldwide today there is an elite corps of "St. Aelred Scholars." They are somewhat divided between those who speak frankly and openly of his same-sex orientation and those who would prefer, if they could, to sweep it under the rug. There are rumors that the Trappists don't allow the monks to read Aelred's works without permission. But Thomas Merton, a great world-renowned Trappist writer wrote a biography of St. Aelred. The Trappists and Benedictines and other orders are fearful that the monks will follow St. Aelred's teachings of love and friendship in the monastery. Because of homophobia they are trying to be on guard against "special friendships."

Our reason for choosing St. Aelred as our patron is primarily because of the holiness of his life and his inspiration for us to give our all for Jesus. The name of Jesus was always on his lips and the love of Jesus was always in his heart, but he felt that his love of Jesus could be strengthened by following the teachings of St. John that love of neighbor translates into love of God. "Those who live in love, live in God, and God lives in them."

St. Aelred was not a modern day gay activist. There is no doubt that he sincerely embraced the celibate life as his vocation. He was a product of his times and caught up in the sex-negative theology of St. Augustine, but he was liminal, way ahead of his times, in his honesty about love and his loves. He is not a role model of gay activism, but a role model of holiness, and honesty, and coming out as appropriate in one's state of life. "St. Aelred deserves to be the patron saint of gays and lesbians because his philosophy of the unity of the flesh and spirit does not follow the hateful language of homophobic official literature, and he led a life of honest openness about loving people of the same sex physically," wrote Oscar Atadero at the conclusion of a seminar on St. Aelred.

We celebrate the feast of St. Aelred because our understanding of life and love is enhanced by this great saint whom we have chosen as our patron.

Novena Prayer

O most kind and loving St. Aelred,
In union with you I come into the presence of our beloved Jesus.
I pray that you will obtain God's favor for me
As I imitate your life of holiness
And follow your teachings
Of love and friendship,
Through Christ Jesus, our friend
Whose sweet name was always on your lips.

St. Aelred, pray for me.
St. Aelred, pray for us.

Ito, TFP, Outrage, and Me

Here it is February already, and so much is happening.

TFP

The annual Pride March, in December, seems like it was just yesterday when we marched in Malate. Now TFP (Task Force Pride) is organizing for 2009. As you know TFP is the network we formed in 1999 to keep the annual march going after Jomar Fleras and ReachOut retired from the project after staging 3 great marches (which were preceded by the one that Pro Gay and MCC co-sponsored in 1994, the first in Asia.) Join TFP now! Either as an individual or organization. Just email TFP at gcanchet@hotmail.com

ITO

A couple of weeks ago, I got a dispirited text message from Oscar Atadero, "Why would anybody murder Ito Sequera, a good and kind person?" And that was the shocking way I found out that the LGBT community had lost a good and kind friend to a cruel thief and murderer. It's hard to find words... I have lost a friend that will be truly missed.

OUTRAGE

There are a number of new LGBT magazines. (Some are more L; some are more G.) My experience is they are hard to find on the newsstands – and I wish there were a solution to that.

One solution is Outrage gayzine. It's available to every L, G, B, T, I who has access to internet.

It's a great online magazine – really good and reliable material. Of course, one of the really good articles (he he) in the latest issue is a follow up of a long interview with me. In all humility (ho ho, I can only brag (ha ha) about it. It makes me proud to be old (ho hum). http://www.outragemag.com/outrage/RichardMickley-001.html

Send the editor a congratulatory note telling him how great the magazine is (and me, too (he he)). And tell him how great it is to have Outrage ONLINE and at our mousetips.

So don't forget:

Ito!
Signup for TFP!
Outrage! Visit!


FR. RICHARD MICKLEY, OSAe, Ph.D.
Abbot, Order of Saint Aelred
The Messenger
By Mikee dela Cruz
PUBLISHED: FEBRUARY 2009
http://www.outragemag.com/outrage/RichardMickley-001.html

(To view photos, visit the online gayzine edition.)

"For many years I was in a Roman Catholic order, and they decided they knew something I did not know so long ago and so far away. They told me if I went out of the order and found a 'nice woman,' 'it' would all go away. I thought 'it' was that terrible thing that troubled my life: masturbation. Well, I was an obedient Roman Catholic, and I went out and did find a most wonderful and beautiful woman who became the best mother in the world to our precious gifts from God. But 'it' did not go away, and I found out 'it' was not masturbation and 'it' was with me to stay," recalls Fr. Richard Mickley, OSAe, Ph.D., Abbot of the Order of Saint Aelred.

In 1971, I met members of the Gay Liberation Movement (GLM) in Detroit, where the movement had spread from New York after the Stonewall riots in June 1969. I joined the left-leaning GLM, I began to burn with zeal for the cause that I was so closely identified with internally, what I gradually had to recognize as my same-sex attraction."

Mickley's spirituality didn't become a casualty of his coming-out, however. Still in 1971, he joined "a group that was planning a 'gay church' in Detroit. We listened to a tape-recorded speech by Rev. Troy Perry. I knew then I could reconcile the psychological reality that was me, with the spiritual reality that was me. I could be a 'gay Christian,' and I became a minister in Metropolitan Community Church (MCC) Detroit."

Mickley adds: "And that has been the path the Lord has led me forward on. For the past 37 years, I have been advocating the rights of GLBTQIA people to 'liberation' from societal restrictions on our human rights and liberation from (read: breaking the shackles of) moral slavery."And that, too, has been how Mickley has been making an impact to the Filipino GLBTQIAs.

THE CALLING

Along the way. Mickley recalls numerous challenges, foremost of which "was the bitterly sad separation from the ones I loved most in this world, and their incomparable mother. And that brought me to psychological counseling, which led me eventually to acquiring masters and doctors degrees in psychology for my own understanding and coping, and for training to help others in similar circumstances," he says.

But Mickley is the first to say that "the challenges cannot be dismissed in a few words or paragraphs."In establishing a "gay church," for example, poverty was, and still remains a big challenge. "There were only a few large and financially stable GLBTQIA congregations in the world. Where I was called to work in the ministry, the congregations were small and struggling, but sincere in their hunger for reconciling their spirituality and their sexuality," he says.

Mickley once worked as an assistant pastor of an MCC church in Chicago full time at a half time salary; worked as a janitor in Phoenix to support his ministry, worked as director of publications while teaching in the denomination seminary, supplementing his salary by serving as a waiter; and then pastor in Auckland, New Zealand, "where I asked for nothing more than a bowl of soup and a bed. Before long they were able to pay a salary and provide a nice house, and I even had a car. But I also had, by then, a strong and reliable staff, a priest who had been a missionary for 14 years, two very competent and spiritual deacons, and a responsible board of directors."

And then came the "challenging call to the Philippines.""When is MCC going to come to our country?""I have been rejected by my church. There is nobody in this whole country who is sticking up for us gay and lesbian Christians."

These words were what Mickley heard from a Filipino gay Christian who wrote to him, and since "my church in Auckland was (already) growing and well-staffed, that letter from Manila was indeed a challenge to my complacency," he says.

Mickley borrowed "enough money to check out the challenge," flying into the country in May 1991, "not knowing even one person here. I had a couple of phone numbers, and the address of the letter-writer. They call it networking, but I saw the hand of God just keeping on opening doors that led from one person to another."

On June 26, 1991, the first Pride Mass was celebrated in the Philippines, at the high altar of the Cathedral of the Holy Child, with 50 people in attendance. "I gave the first Troy Perry-type pride sermon. A few days later 40 some people gathered for my despedida (farewell party). They signed a petition for me to come back. They promised me food and a place to sleep. I accepted, went back to New Zealand, turned the pastoral responsibilities over to competent members of my staff, gave up my house, salary, car, and came to Manila September 7, 1991 to face the challenge."

Mickley has never looked back since, having faced "17 years of wonderful challenges in the Philippines," so that he now proudly calls himself a Filipino ("Filipino na ako," he says).

THROUGH THE YEARS

"I am forever grateful that in the face of many obstacles and challenges, God made it possible for MCC Philippines to come into being in 1991, and bring the message of God's unconditional love to GLBTQIA people from that day until this day," Mickley says.

Among the promising moves he notes are the "telling of the story of God's love in Quezon City for well over two years now" of Rev. C. J. Agbayani and faithful friends; and they are "learning to hold their heads high, throw off the shackles of moral slavery, and accept God's wonderful friendship" of "more and more gays and lesbians."

"One person told me: 'That's the kind of God I come to MCC Quezon City to praise and worship. Our God is not always saying, 'no masturbation, no condoms, no sex.' Our God is reaching out to us with open arms, 'Come to me, all, and I will give you rest,'" Mickley says.

It can be said that Mickley has been witness to gay history – having been involved in the longest Pride March in hist0ry with Rev. Joseph Gilbert and a group who marched for a week through the dessert from the Mexican border to Phoenix. He took part in the huge parades in Los Angeles and joined Pride Marches in Auckland, New Zealand.

He lived through the spread of HIV and/or AIDS even before HIV was named (by the time he finished his doctoral studies and was able to work as a clinical psychologist, "AIDS was widespread and my friends were dying left and right, as many was 50 of them before they ever knew what was causing AIDS, since HIV was not discovered until 1983. Friends and strangers alike needed care, bedside care, down to earth basic bathing, cleaning, and care," he says).

A big source of pride, however, is "being part of the first Gay and Lesbian Pride March in Asia. I had set up the first openly gay and lesbian Christian activist group (MCC) in the Philippines in 1991, and Pro Gay Philippines became the first openly activist organization for gay and lesbian rights in 1992. Oscar Atadero, a board member of MCC and an officer of Pro Gay Philippines, and I, pastor of MCC, talked in early 1994 about the 25th anniversary of the Stonewall riots in New York. He obtained the approval of Pro Gay to sponsor a Pride March in Quezon City on June 26, 1994, and I obtained the approval of the Board of Directors of MCC Manila to co-sponsor the march which turned out to be not only the first in the Philippines, but the first in Asia," Mickley says.

In 1995, Mickley retired from MCC because of church age rules. But his advocacy didn't stop, as he "set up the Order of St. Aelred to carry on sex positive ministry in the battle against moral slavery and FOR human rights, FOR freedom of conscience, FOR responsible religious freedom. I did not want to set up a 'parish' to compete with MCC, but a religious organization to contribute to the continuation of the work of 'liberation' I had started," he says. "People have told me that there was no one openly speaking out for the rights of gay and lesbian people before I came here. I wanted to continue the work."

MOVING FORWARD

"From my perspective, religious prejudice is the root of all the homophobia we face. From it flows the legal and societal discrimination," says Mickley, who, after hearing Hugh Heffner remark on television that "he would be happy to be remembered as the one who brought sexuality out of the closet, that got me to thinking – I think I would be content to be remembered for bringing sex-positive theology out of the closet."

For Mickley, this means "that I don't claim to have invented sex-positive theology. There are many, many renowned theologians who have written well on the subject. My work was to synthesize them, and perhaps put their thinking in everyday language. What I have done is to write about it, speak about it, and promote it.

So, in a summary, ever so short, I'll just point out that the tone is set by the starting points, the mindsets or frameworks from which sex-negative pronouncements are made, and from which sex-positive thinking blossoms."

The starting mindset for sex-positive theology can be summarized in the teaching of theologian Father Norman Pittenger, who says that all sex is GOOD if it is not harmful or forceful.

Meanwhile, the mindset of St. Augustine sets the pattern for sex-negative theology, since, for him, all sex was BAD except for married couples, once a year, under the blankets, with the clothes on; get in their fast and make the baby, and get out fast, and don't enjoy it.

"The Vatican, under the last two popes, has insisted that the dignity of the person is basic to all questions of morality. To me it is clear that the human dignity of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual and intersex human person takes precedence over rules, rules, rules that rob them of the dignity and privileges of being human.

Examples are ample of sex negative rules: no masturbation; no condoms; no sex except for married heterosexual couples (for making babies); no sex ever, in any way, in the whole lifetime of those who have same sex attraction.

The point that I have tried to get across is that human sexuality is not about no, no, no, don't, don't, don't. It's a beautiful gift from an all-loving Inventor-God which is best used to express adult human love. The dignity of the Giver and receiver of this wonderful gift surely merits that sexuality that is not harmful or forceful is yes, yes, yes, thank you, thank you," Mickley says.

Mickley adds: "In short, I think I can say (a la hugh Heffner) that I am thankful I had an opportunity over the last 17 years in our country (and 37 years in all) to help bring sex-positive theology out of the closet."

FIGHTING SPIRIT

For the GLBTQIA community to be fully accepted, "we need confidence, cooperation, and perseverance in facing prejudice, discrimination, and all forms of homophobia," Mickley says. These are needed because of the "sheer uphill battle to stand up to discrimination effectively.

But how can we? How can we fight the power of the Catholic bishops, who, when Rep. Bellaflor Angara-Castillo, for example, introduced a gay and lesbian rights bill into the House of Representatives, collected tens of thousands of signatures at Sunday Mass opposing the bill.

How can we effectively fight a Protestant bishop, (member olf the House), who, through parliamentary maneuvers, blocked the House of Representatives from passing an anti discrimination bill, introduced by the intrepid Rep. Etta Rosales, which has languished in limbo for a decade because of various hijackings in the House and Senate? How can we? What can we do in a society where we are overpowered by the influence of the Catholic bishops on the lawmakers?"

But Mickley is optimistic, inspired by the "undaunted fighting spirit of so very many leaders in the fight. It's a danger to mention any names in the fear that haste will cause the omission some of our very wonderful, and dear, dear activist friends – people like Danton Remoto, Anne Lim, Oscar Atadero, Ging Cristobal, Angie Umbac, Germaine Leonin, Jonas Bagas, Sass, Neil Garcia, Clara Rita Padilla, Mick Tan, all those who have headed and worked so hard in Task Force Pride over the years, such as Paulo Fontanos and Bruce Amoroto, and so many others this year," he says.

Even as he continues with his work, though, Mickley is looking forward to "a graceful exit when I am approaching 99, knowing that the work is in good hands," he smiles, asking for "God's blessings (for the) fruits of the labors of (advocates to) bring a better world for GLBTQIA people in our country."


-- "God is Friendship." (St. Aelred, 1110-1167)

------------------------------------------------------------
Fr. Richard R. Mickley, O.S.Ae., Ph.D.
Abbot
The Order of St. Aelred
St. Aelred Friendship Society
82-D Masikap Extension
Barangay Central, Quezon City
1100 Metro Manila, Philippines
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Liberation, freedom, justice Chapter II

The meetings in the coffee shop continued, and the group grew larger. It was not quite a team yet, but it had leaders and a lot of brilliant men and women.

When they started the meeting, Impatient Gay indicated he wanted to say something. All listened.

It turned out he only had a question.

Impatient Gay: “Every night I go to bed wondering what can we do beyond holding a yearly ‘march’?”

Rev. Gay: “Do for what? What is your objective?”

Impatient Gay, “For liberation, freedom, and justice, of course.”

Lez Beautiful: “That sounds good. Sounds like that is what we need. But liberation from what? Freedom for what? Justice about what?

Gay Pro, “I like what I read in Quibuyen about Rizal’s goals for liberation, freedom, and justice for the people of the Philippines.”

First Lez, “I like it, too. But Liberation from what? We know what Rizal wanted. He wanted liberation from all the oppression of the Spanish colonial masters. What do we want liberation from?”

Almost a chorus: “We want liberation from heterosexist oppression and domination of every facet of our life.”

First Lez, “But what do we want freedom for?”

Gay Blade, “Oh, we could be serious about Rizal’s ideas on strategy.”

Trans, “We can be serious, and should be serious, I think, about Rizal’s strategies, but the questions of Freedom for what? And justice about what are still unanswered. I could say, ‘freedom to dress as I want.’ Would that satisfy everybody?”

Prof Gay, “Of course, I want that for you and for all of us, but you are right. We cannot move forward until we clearly identify our goals and form a strategy, and make an action plan.”

Gay Blade, “I still think Rizal’s idea of grassroots change and action is the best one. We now have barangays which they didn’t have in Rizal’s time. We could start with all the barangays in the country and get some real grassroots action.”

Gay Pol, “You are young, and you are full of enthusiasm. Of course that takes a big action plan to tackle such a big proposal. You see, we have not even identified what we would do in all the barangays in the country. The political analysts tell us that that is the secret to Barack Obama’s rise to power. Let’s remember that.”

Tran 2, “How can the barangays help with liberation? Liberation from what? In some places white is dominant. In some places Christian is dominant. In some places Islam is dominant. Everywhere heterosexist ideology is dominant. Is there any hope for breaking out of the domination that affects gays, lesbians, transgenders, and bisexuals?”

Pastor Gay, “I saw a moving segment of Oprah in which she showed some powerful examples of dealing with prejudice.”

Prof Gay, “Are you coming around to suggesting that marching once a year is not enough to counteract prejudice. What else is there?”

Lez Leader, “So that’s the beginning of our Action Plan. On page 19, Quibuyen quotes a letter of Rizal to del Pilar, “I am assiduously studying the events in our country. I believe that only intelligence can redeem us, in the material and in the spiritual… It is better to be tied by the ankles than elbow to elbow.”

Gay Blade, “We LGBT. All of us, are tied elbow to elbow now. What can we do to start getting loose? Shall we just wait and march once a year for another ten years?”

Bi, “Rizal once wrote to Blumentritt,…’When the Filipinos shall prefer to die rather endure miseries any longer, then I too shall advocate violent means. I cannot believe that you…would like to advise your good friend to endure all and to act like a cowardly man, without courage.”

Gay Blade, “Mabuhay Rizal. Them’s my kinda words. What are going to do to apply that to LGBT liberation?”

Wise Lez, “We have always thought there was nothing we can do but march like LGBT have been doing ever since 1970. And marching.”

Bi, “Rizal also wrote, “Spain will never learn.”

Gay Prof, “That’s a valid observation on his part. We have learned a little more sociology now. We have people right here in this coffee shop with us now who have degrees in community organization.”

Pastor Gay, “On that Oprah show, a gay teenager was beaten and left for dead by a racist who shouted, ‘Kill the faggot.’ At the end of the show, many years after the beating, the two were on Oprah telling how they were working together in the same organization to combat prejudice.”

Lez 3, “Do we have organizations like that?”

Gay Leader, “We have non-government organizations working for the liberation, freedom, and justice of indigenous people. Some of their members are right here. Why can’t we take some of the same principles and apply them to our LGBT cause of liberation, freedom, and justice?”

Gay Blade, “How would we do it. I am young. I am willing to learn.”

Gay Prof, “You got something there. We could start by educating ourselves on how to combat the ignorance of prejudice.”

Gay One, “We could study Malcom Gladwell – ‘Blink’ and ‘The Tipping Point.’”

Lez Sociologist, “There is already a fabulous program in existence, which also mentioned in that same Oprah show. It is called IAT, the Implicit Association Test: it’s a Demonstration test from Project Implicit, which gauges prejudicial attitudes or beliefs about certain groups of people. That’s one instrument we could use to educate ourselves and begin to develop a far reaching project.”

Gay Blade, “Then we could take it to every barangay in the country and wipe out prejudice.”

Gay leader, “Wow that’s great. Let’s see if we can develop a step by step action plan, that Rizal would be proud of and we can move beyond yearly marches.”

Lez Leader, “Let’s organize some study and report groups.”

Liberation, Freedom, Justice

In this end of year-beginning of year blog I am embarking on an ambitious task.

I want to use the revolutionary mission of Jose Rizal for the liberation of the Filipino people from Spanish and friar suffocation (murder) – as something of a model for the liberation of LGBT people of the Philippines from the suffocation of homophobic religion and society.

I am inspired by Floro C . Quibuyen. I recently had a chance to meet Dr. Quibuyen, attend his lecture on Rizal as a revolutionary, and purchase his revised scholarly study of Rizal, “A Nation Aborted.”

I apologize that I cannot do justice to this incomparable study of Rizal. I can only attest to its being a source of immense inspiration to me. This is first because the subject is very near and dear to my heart, and second because of the impeccable literary and scholarly methodology which enhances its credibility and appeal.

And so, the project I am embarking on combines my two research and literary “loves,” Rizal and LGBT liberation.

I never regretted that I joined the left-leaning and short-lived “Gay Liberation Front” in 1971. It had a revolutionary concept that I have never let go of since.

This present day project will consist of a pattern of inspirational quotations from Dr. Quibuyen’s work followed by a commentary on LGBT liberation. The “lead” quote regarding Rizal will be 100% fact. The follow up commentary will be largely wishful fiction – in some ways like unto the wishful fiction of the Noli and Fili.

The biggest wish would be to see the work have even a fraction of the influence on LGBT liberation that the Noli and Fili had on the liberation of the Filipino people.
Surely this work, like Rizal’s works, will play a role in clarifying what LGBT people need liberation “from” and perhaps will even chart a course for reaching that much-hoped-for liberation.

(Let me note that there are multiple delightful scholarly “angles” explored and commented on by Dr. Quibuyen. Regretfully in this “short” project, for the sake of focus, I will avoid discussion of “side issues” that add so much richness to Professor Quibuyen’s work.)

(Let me note also from the beginning that there is no evidence to support stating that Rizal was gay in the sense of having an amorous, loving relationship or attraction to persons of the same sex, just as there is no evidence to indicate that Jesus, who had a “beloved disciple,” was gay, or that (future) King David of Biblical fame, who had a sworn relationship with Jonathan, was enjoying a sexual relationship with the one whose love “surpassed that of women.” Those are not issues of this discussion. Rizal did indeed exhibit finer sensibilities often associated with gay men. Here, the real issue is whether gay men, lesbians and women who love women, and bisexuals, and transsexuals can learn from the revolutionary insights of Rizal and apply them for the liberation of the LGBT people from the terrors and tyranny of heterosexist and homophobic domination and persecution?)

My first Rizal inspiration selection is from page 10 of the second edition of A Nation Aborted.

“Rizal’s vision was of a nation as an ethical community…
He was convinced that the road to national liberation, freedom, and justice was not via the violent seizure of state power… but through local, grass-roots community oriented struggles in civil society…

What if [such] local efforts and projects were replicated throughout the Philippines?”

[My comment: he knew about, read about and studied the French and American revolutions, and he developed a different idea of how to go about it.]

Philippine LGBT commentary

Gay was not born yesterday. Nor was Lez. They knew about stonewall. They knew how LGBT people around the world had been marching for freedom and justice for more than 25 years.

They were Filipino(a) to the core — in mind and spirit. They idolized Jose Rizal and their consciousness was slowly awakening to the magnitude of Rizal’s contribution to the liberation of the Filipino(a) people.

Even before Starbucks they sat down over coffee. They talked about what needed to be done for LGBT people of the Philippines. They talked about Rizal’s vision for liberation, freedom, and justice. Then Gay said, “Surely, 25 years after Stonewall the time has come for a Rizal-type revolution in the Philippines for the oppressed LGBT people.”

Lez replied, “I suppose Rizal had similar ideas when he thought how long it had been since the shameful execution in 1872 of the Gomburza fathers. You know, Gay, we are both active and experienced in civil society. We have seen a lot of action, demonstrating, marching. Let’s do all that, but let’s have a long term plan.”Yes, a master plan,” added Gay.

“Hold on,” Lez cut in. “Let’s make another commitment.”

“What’s that?” Gay asked.

“I would like for us to make a commitment from the start to recognize the equality of all people.”

“Yes, yes,” said Gay, “I am all for that.”

“We can start out,” Lez explained, “by emphasizing our attitude of equality by using inclusive language, language that includes everyone, not just men or women, but both.”

“Of course,” Gay assured her, “I am for that. Give me an example.”

“I said we need a long term plan. You said we need a master plan. You see the master is the ‘boss man’ and that does not emphasize equality.”

“Ah, I see,” said Gay, as if awakening from sleep. “I need to be alert and clean up my masculine dominated language.”

“Well,” Lez said with a cheerful smile, “Let’s get back to our long term plan.”

“We can’t do it alone,” Gay said. Rizal could not do it alone. Bonifacio could not do it alone. I am sure we both know like-minded people. I have a friend named Tran, who is even school-trained with a master’s in activism, or something like that. I will invite her to meet with us.”

“I was thinking of my very wise friend, Bi,” Lez replied. He could help us develop these ideas.”

It took time. Others came forward. Gay had a friend, known as Pastor Gay who had organized a church for reform and action on the religion front. They recognized the same kind of abuse against LGBT people in today’s society that the friars had imposed on the native people of the Philippines in general.

Within a year the dyed-in-the-wool activists formed themselves into an organization to do what they do best – street action, demonstration, and attention getting.

Pastor Gay and Gay Pro, a leader in the activist group, got together and got their groups, which were the first openly out and activist groups in the country, to co-sponsor the first LGBT march and rally in the country on the 25th anniversary of Stonewall, and it turned out to be the first such march and rally in the whole of Asia.

Bi observed in the coffee shop discussions that “there was a lot of publicity in newspapers and television, and even magazines, about this first small march, but did we know how, did we have a plan for getting the most out of this publicity for the liberation of our people?”

One day at the coffee shop Lez announced, “We have gathered together women who love women, and we are already talking about what we need to do most. Some think it is ‘sisterhood.’ Others think the sisters need to help each other understand what it means to be a ‘sister.’ They are already planning to write a book about it.”

Pastor Gay said, ”That’s what we are doing. We have a church of LBGT Christians and we teach ourselves that God loves us LGBT people unconditionally, and nobody can take that away from us. We don’t just have Sunday sermons, but we have week night discussions on our right to have and claim the love our God offers us, with no strings attached.”

Then the political activists got together and started talking about what laws were needed for LGBT people.

Gay Pol came to the coffee shop and explained, “The political activists are convinced that what we need to start with is an anti-discrimination bill. Gay Abro, who also had been involved in starting an activist LGBT group on the university campus, took on the job of writing the anti-discrimination bill.”

That was exciting news for the coffee shop talk group. Soon they found out that the bill was introduced into the congress by Rep. Etta Rosales. Members of the coffee shop group testified for it in hearings in congress. It passed the House of Representatives. Sadly it died for lack of action in the Senate. (This was the fate of hundreds of other bills, so Gay Pol said, “At this time we cannot see the hand of homophobia in the lack of Senate action at this time.”)

So they talked at the coffee shop. Gay Pol announced that the political activists would hold a weeklong workshop to study the manifestations, extent, and effects of homophobia and discrimination. That project resulted in a Noli Me Tangere of “evils” that LGBT people were experiencing.

Now over the years while all this scattered action was developing, Gay, Lez, Bi, Tran , Pastor Gay, Gay Pol and friends formed a coalition composed of representatives from all the groups to keep the annual marches marching every year. In 1998 the LGBT parade even marched in front of the President of the Republic in the Centennial Citizens Freedom Parade.

As the years went by with parades every year, with many organizations doing their thing, Gay, Lez, Bi, Tran and friends were reflecting on the scattered efforts that were made at Rizal’s time. A little activity here and there, books were published, magazines were written, the Liga was started, Rizal was arrested and sent into exile, the Katipunan secretly began. But nothing was happening to bring about the dream of freedom from injustice.

In the coffee shop, by now it was Starbucks and competitors, the long term plan was slowly evolving.

They did not debate whether Rizal “recanted” or not. They focused their whole attention, energy, brain power and zeal on bringing freedom and justice to their people.

Lez said, “I am appalled by the abuses our people continue to suffer.”

“For me,” Gay said, “I am deeply saddened, driven to action, when I realize that year after year the Anti Discrimination Bill of Rep. Etta Rosales does not get passed in both houses of the Congress.”

“You know,” Bi said, “This year it was deliberately blocked by the political anti LGBT maneuvers of a certain Protestant bishop who is a member of the House. Just plain bigotry, and he got away with it because of the apathy of the others.”

Tran told them that she “would like to get married just like her sister did with a beautiful wedding, marching down the aisle in her fabulous wedding gown and veil, but we all know that fighting for same-sex marriage is not our priority in itself. Respect, equality, yes, and marriage is surely a symbol of equality.”

Then they put their heads together. Gay said, “We can look back in history and see that nothing was happening for decades as the colonial abuses continued from Gomburza to Rizal, and before and after. Rizal had a dream, a vision, an idea for a liberated nation of free people. But nothing happened.”

Lez pleaded, “Let’s don’t continue this scattered ineffective approach.”

Pastor Gay said, “Let’s look at Rizal’s vision again. He wanted the Philippine nation to be an ethical society. What in the world is an ethical society?”

"But what did Rizal mean,” Lez asked, “by local grass-roots community oriented struggles in civil society?”

“Then the question is,” Bi asked, ”What are the local projects that can be replicated throughout the Philippines so that our people can be set free and enjoy justice?”

They agreed the time for just talk talk was over. The time was long past for a long term plan, inspired by Rizal, that could be followed to bring about freedom and justice for the LGBT people of the Philippines.

To be continued.

Merry Christmas -- all year round

Merry Christmas -- all year round

That's my Christmas message this year.

It's a message originally designed for "lovers."

But I am sure we can find many applications.

My Christmas message this year, for my first octogenarian Christmas, can be a wonderful experience for you in many situations in your life.

When people come to us for a Holy Union, we discuss with them at some length a concept of "love" which I call, "Love's Bottom Line."

I started this practice only about 3 and half years ago, and I wish I had started 30 years ago.

NOW I am getting emails from around the world, "Since our wedding in your chapel 2 years ago, we have been living happily together in London -- so grateful that you taught us Love's Bottom Line. It has made our life together very happy." Maybe you can discover the secret of :"Merry Christmas -- all year round."

Love's Bottom Line

"God is love, and wherever love, God is; those who live in love live in God, and God lives in them." I John

"The greatest love one can have is to lay down one's life for one's friend."

ByFr. Richard R. Mickley, O.S.Ae., Ph.D.

In a retreat I facilitated for 36 college students they were assigned in small groups to define "love." That triggered a lot of discussion, but hours later (well after midnight) there was a near unanimous agreement that -- it is not possible to have a definition of love which does not include the idea of "giving."

For a moment we got scriptural and reminded ourselves that God, who is Love, "so loved the people of the world that God gave Jesus…" We decided that it is pretty hard to "show" love without "giving."

When people come to us for a Holy Union to unite themselves in a loving and holy union, it's usually quite obvious that they "love" each other and are in "in love."

But we go on to explore what is the "bottom line" that makes their wedding, their union, their life together, their love make sense.

Everyone who is honest and realistic admits that they have arguments and disagreements, and sometimes some admit they have rather nasty brawls. What's at the root of these unpleasant glitches in their "love affair"? They usually agree that it's because one of them insists on "doing it my way," or saying, "I'm right and you are wrong," or saying, "I don't care what you say, I want this." Often the root of the problem is the desire, the drive, to win, to come out on top.

Now, when that happens, it leads to a deadlock, an unhappy hour or two hours, or an unhappy relationship, depending on how long the stubbornness, the obstinacy, continues.

Remember we are talking about love, about a so-called loving relationship. You can have disagreements at work, but the dynamics are quite different. You can want your own way in the work-place, but there the solution will be probably be solved on the basis of "authority" or the "good" of the work."

In a loving couple, in our day and age, we usually don't have a "boss" of the relation ship. It is now more common to think and act in an "equal relationship." (By the way, if you choose to have one person as the "boss" of the relationship, you should have some well-understood guidelines on how and when the "authority" operates.)

In a loving equal relationship you can learn to interact by following accepted methods of negotiation and compromise. Of course that takes not only some know-how, but also some practice. For most people, these skills don't come automatically, probably because of lack of good role models in our families and in society around us. I have a chapter on this in my book, Sharing and Growing, which is a full length how-to-do-it manual for building a stronger and more harmonious relationship.

Having said that, let's go back to the "bottom line." In short, the bottom line is what you have when all is said and done. In business the bottom line is what you still have left (hopefully) after the expenses are subtracted from the income.

In a relationship, the bottom line is the one thing that is the most important, most sensible reason for being together. (Or, the only sensible thing that is left after all the crazy stuff is ruled out.)

In business, people work together as partners to make money. Why do two people come together in love as a couple? We are not talking about teaming up to make money. Is it to have their own way? Is it to win arguments? Is it to fight, argue, disagree (or even agree) all the time?
Why are two people together as a couple? Is the argument you have today, or winning it, going to be important a year from now? A month from now? Will you even remember what it was about a week from now? Will it even matter tomorrow? On the other hand does it matter that both of you will have been unhappy because of it all this time?

Well, then, is the purpose of the relationship to win every argument, to be grouchy, cranky, unpleasant, downright sad because you don't get your way?

What is the one thing that makes sense? What is the one thing that makes it sane and good and pleasant for two people to be together? To call themselves a couple? If you have the answer to that for you and your partner, you will know the bottom line. Let me just note, that some of the elements could differ from couple to couple in how they go about it. (The same thing will not work for everybody. Some people seem to be born to argue, and really can't be happy unless they are arguing. And that could work for them – if both partners have this insatiable urge to be happy by arguing. There are some people who say, "Wouldn't life be boring if you never have an argument?")

So, the bottom line is not necessarily agreeing all the time. What is it? You can, and probably should, learn guidelines for negotiation and compromise, but what's the object of it all?

Especially, what is the whole idea, the sensible pujrpose, of getting together for a life of togetherness?

Both negotiation and compromise require some "giving" from each partner. So, what we want to stress is that nothing will work if it is not "two-sided" giving. And that holds doubly true for the "bottom line" for couples in a loving relationship. Remember, we suggested there can be no definition of love without including the concept of "giving."

Are you together to be unhappy? Are you together to make each other miserable? What is the one thing that makes sense? Yes. It is, "We are together to make one another happy." That's the bottom line. To make it practical, we can put it this way, in every situation, "

What can I do to make my partner happy?
How Can I Make My Partner Happy?

If I know my loved one is blissful when I bring a rose or a dozen roses, would I wait a year to bring a rose or roses? If I know my partner is a movie buff and really enjoys having me in the next seat at the cinema, will I always say, "No, I hate movies"?

Sometimes this is a hard thing to deal with. What if one likes dancing more than the other? "How can I make my partner happy?" Perhaps without a lot of explaining, perhaps this time I will go to the movie with my partner, and the next time I will go dancing with my partner, so we both have a chance to make the other happy. If one is a vegetarian, that does not mean the other has to make the supreme sacrifice and unhappily become a vegetarian, but it presents a challenge, "What can I do to make my partner happy?"

Smoking and drinking, spending money, and going out with friends can present similar challenges. If you know your partner is sick and hungry, will you set out food, or will you beg for company on the dance floor? What will bring happiness at that moment?

There is always a way when the bottom line is the starting point, and a bit of unsophisticated compromise is thrown in. (Like: My partner hates smoking; I will never smoke in my partner's presence. It's up to me to decide if my love requires me to give by "giving up" smoking.)

Going back to the definition of "love" -- giving -– if I want to give love to my partner, I find a way to show it by asking myself, "What can I do (give of myself) to make my partner happy?"

Perhaps becoming human with us, with all our suffering and pain and hardships, may not have been the most pleasant thing the Word of God could desire, but love was foremost in the being of Jesus, so that he gave himself to the fullness of human life, healing, going about doing good, but enduring hunger and sweat and suffering, and eventually torture and death as well, all because of love.

If we want to say with St. Paul, "I live now, not I, but Christ lives in me," Can we put easy limits on what we are willing to do to make our partner happy?

God is Love, and those who live in love, live in God, and God lives in them. Great things are about to happen when the starting point, the beginning attitude is not "How can I win?" but "How can I make my partner happy?"

Stop and think. What would be the result in your life? If each time you felt like prolonging an argument, you asked yourself, "How can I make my partner happy?" Or if each time your partner felt like intensifying a fight, suddenly there would be a reflection, "What can I do to make my partner happy?"

Note: this a question one asks oneself (internally). It is not something one throws in te face of the other.

Of course it takes two. It works best if both partners are saints. If both are not saints, wouldn't it be great if both tried to be – in this regard, at least. Unfortunately, the world has all too seldom witnessed the peace and joyful togetherness experienced by the couple who elevate their love to this level.

Even if the world has not seen it, you will enjoy the most wonderful, most happy, most fulfilling relationship ever possible in the history of the world if you mutually base you attitude and love on Love's Bottom Line: "How can I make my partner happy?"

St, Francis of Assisi gives us some hints on how to do this in his beautiful prayer for peace:

Lord,Make me an instrument of your peace:
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury – pardon;
Where there is doubt – faith;
Where there is darkness – light;
Where there is sadness – joy.

O Divine master,Grant
that I may not so much seek;
To be consoled – as to console;
To be understood – as to understand;
To be loved – as to love.For…
It is in giving – that we receive;
In pardoning – that we are pardoned; and,
It is in dying – that we are born to eternal life.

[In summary:It is in giving -- that we love;
It is in loving -– that we find happiness.]

(This summary added to St. Francis' prayer.)

Fr. Richard R. Mickley, O.S.Ae., Ph.D.
The Order of St. Aelred (O.S.Ae.)
St. Aelred Friendship Society (SAeF)
E-mail: saintaelred@gmail.com
Website: http://www.geocities.com/staelredmonasterymanila

HIV

Today is World AIDS Day, and I think it is timely to remind our Friends of some alarming facts about what is happening in our country. Men who have sex with men are now the leading “cases” HIV in this country.

When I came to this country 17 years ago, I was surprised that MSM sex was not the leading cause of HIV spreading in this country. I came from Los Angeles where 50 of my friends died of AIDS because they did not know what was causing AIDS (and most of them were infected even before scientists knew there was a virus and virus transmission involved).

Now we all know where HIV comes from, not from sex, but from unprotected sex.

I give only the first few scary paragraphs here. Read the whole article on Inquirer.net (Just click on the link that follows.)

http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20081201-175389/Govt-warns-vs-HIV-danger-in-MSM-sector


SPECIAL REPORT: Gov’t warns vs HIV danger in MSM sector
By Diana G. Mendoza
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 04:31:00 12/01/2008

MANILA, Philippines — Amid the celebration of World AIDS Day on Monday, the health department is grappling with the problem of declaring an epidemic of HIV infection among a sector it calls MSM, or men having sex with men.

Increasingly, recent victims are students and young professionals.

The huge problem is that it could not declare this epidemic in the same way it does an outbreak of dengue fever because of the “gay” stigma implicit in it.

Dr. Eric Tayag, head of the health department’s National Epidemiology Center, sounded the alarm in October during the Philippine National AIDS Convention, a biannual event of the NGO AIDS Society of the Philippines.

Citing the health department’s HIV/AIDS Registry, a collection of reports from hospitals, clinics and treatment centers of laboratory-confirmed HIV tests, Tayag noted sudden, steep increases in HIV infection among MSM in the last three years.

The registry recorded 210 new infections among MSM in 2005, 309 in 2006 and 342 in 2007.

This year, from January to September alone, there were already 395 cases, up 96 percent since 2005.Tayag said there was nothing like this in the 21 years since the government kept an official record of HIV infections starting in 1984 when the first AIDS case was reported in the Philippines.

Because the cases were tremendously in excess of what was usually expected, Tayag concluded that there was “an ongoing HIV and AIDS epidemic among the MSM.”

“Several factors may be responsible but we believe MSM has become the new sexual norm (in HIV transmission),” he said.

Independent behavioral studies, he said, have shown widespread unsafe sex in this group, such as the nonuse of condoms during anal sex.

To Borrow a Title -- Culture and Health

Following the bordering-on-the-frivolous announcement of my reaching the age of old age in my immediately preceding blogs, and gratefully having answered the dozens of personal greetings, I want to discuss a very serious issue.

This serious thinking is prompted by today’s Inquirer column by Dr. Michael Tan, the UP anthropologist-columnist, who writes on almost anything with great wisdom and insights into human nature -- and how some humans thwart human nature.

I write on sex-positive theology. My topics often have an anthropological angle, and when Dr. Tan writes about them, the terminology sometimes comes out different, but today I am amazed at the bottom line coming out so much alike.

Culture and Health

Mike’s topic today is “Culture and Health.” My interest often turn to culture, tradition, religious beliefs and spiritual health (which cannot be separated from emotional, intellectual physical health).

He says “we hear a lot these days about cultural barriers to good health.” I often write about cultural barriers gay and lesbian people, LGBT people in general, face not only to good health, but to survival.

The “Culture” of Prejudice

Let me digress for a moment to look at what happened when the people of California overcame racial prejudice and voted on November 4th to elect a black man president of the United States, but on the same day the people of California perpetuated prejudice against LGBT people by voting to deny them equal marriage in the state. Now there certainly are some mind-boggling issues involved in that phenomenon.

I have watched panels where it was debated that this is a terrible cultural contradiction as opposed to those who argued that the two are unrelated issues -- racial prejudice and sexual orientation prejudice.

Reproductive Health

The underlying issue of Dr. Tan’s column is the Reproductive Health Bill currently being debated in the House of Representatives. I choose to believe the authors that it has absolutely nothing to do with abortion. That is does have to do with the health of adult human beings.

That bill is being opposed by the same religious entities who oppose recognition of the rights of persons with same-sex attraction to have the mental, emotional, physical, and emotional health of expressing their same-sex love in a manner appropriate for their God-given sexual orientation (which is indeed, a given, not a choice, as one prominent TV commentator said just today). Note: see the “list of donors, including the Roman Catholic Bishops, posted on our SAeFfriends Yahoo Group by our Friend George DiCarlo

Repressive and Oppressive: Moral Slavery

In connection with reproductive health rights, Mike uses the terms repressive and oppressive to refer to certain cultural influences.

In recent years I have been using “moral slavery” to put a label on the oppression that is used to cut off the rights of people in sexual matters. We have been made moral slaves by such cultural (religious) norms as
*“The Bible condemns same-sex love.” FALSE
*“Masturbation is a sin.” WHY? (Thou shalt not commit adultery.)
*“Only heterosexual love and sex is not sin (under the right circumstances).” Why? Adam and Eve were told to increase and multiply.)
*“People with same sex attraction are not allowed any sex, at any time, in any way, in their entire life.” WHY? (Because Adam and Eve were told to increase and multiply and not commit adultery.)

When a couple comes to me for a same-sex wedding, I have a discussion with them, illustrated by a PowerPoint presentation, about the formation of conscience and the role of conscience in combating repression and oppression. I ask them if they think their love is a sin. Very often they ask, “How can love be a sin?” Simple and beautiful answer.

Conscience

I proceed to show them how that simple answer is the product of their good thinking . They have made a decision of conscience and did not even know it.

Conscience is the moral judgment, the decision, which is made after considering the facts, the “evidence,” available to make the decision. For a Christian, conscience is a “Christian Moral Judgment.” So you look at the factors which make it “Christian.” You listen to the church, the Bible, Jesus. You listen to human nature, the real life human situation, the psychological and economic factors involved. Your decision depends on the evidence you find.

“Is Your Love a Sin?” Is it a sin to kill?

Is it a sin to kill” Yes, of course. But somebody always remembers that ‘it depends…” If a one year old child picks up a gun and kills someone, it is not a sin because it depends on the child’s ability to commit sin. If a murderer is about to plunge a knife into your heart or your sister’s heart, or a an innocent victim’s heart, can you pull the trigger and kill that would-be murderer? Yes. It depends, on self-defense, defense of the defenseless, etc. That’s conscience.

Thus, not even killing is black and white, yes or no, “It depends…”

Is it a sin not to use condoms?

Is it as sin to use condoms. Yes, of course, the church says so. But that depends, too. Here’s what Mike Tan says that 69 Ateneo professors have to say,

“We ask our bishops
to respect the one in three (35.6%)
married Filipino women who
in their ‘most secret core and sanctuary’ or conscience,
have decided
that their and their family’s interests
would best be served
by using a modern artificial means of contraception.
Is it not possible
that these women were obeying
their well-informed and well-formed consciences
when they opted to use [condoms or pills]?”

That’s a monumental recommendation from 69 faculty members of a prestigious Filipino Catholic University. It echoes what Fr. Andrew Greeley, a Chicago-based priest sociologist has been saying for years…

Is your love a sin?

So what’s the relevance to our couples who are preparing for the highlight of their life -- their same-sex wedding. First I monitor their conscience. Do they believe their love is a sin or a gift from God?

One staunch Catholic male couple came to me for a nice garden wedding. They told me, “We know it is a sin, but…” I said “But, what?” No amount of teaching on my part could help them “change their conscience.” I told them, “If a person thinks something is a sin, and does it, then it is a sin. I don’t want to be part of your sin. My whole ministry is based on the unconditional love of God and the assurance that God is Love, and God is smiling on our same-sex love. If you think it is a sin, I cannot participate in your ‘sinful’ wedding.” And they left.

I am gratified that most couples nowadays have (perhaps unknowingly) solved their conscience before they come to me. That makes it easy to explain to them that they have formed their conscience, and that that they have a basic human right to do that.

And that is one aspect of culture and health for LGBT people.

Good for the Health
Same-sex sexual health is good for the health.

In conclusion, I will quote and get in synch with a pertinent UN document which Mike quotes, “From within the same cultural matrix, we can extract arguments and strategies for the degradation or ennoblement of our species, for its enslavement or liberation, for the suppression of its productive potential or its enhancement.”

Liberation from moral slavery is good for the HEALTH.

It ennobles and enhances the health of the person.

Then Mike concludes, and we can conclude, along with his wisdom, “More than a simple declaration, that passage should be taken as a challenge to Filipinos and people throughout the world to take culture and health seriously.”