I am overwhelmed. I was in tears as I tried to start my acceptance speech in front of so many people, not only the hundreds packing the Abbot Lopez Hall of San Beda College Manila, but I felt humbled in the presence of my awesome fellow awardees.
I was worried how I could thank so many who had cooperated with the Lord to get done what the Lord wanted over the years.
First of all I am honored by Pastoral Servant Leader Caesar Patrick Bonales and Pastor Fr. Regen Luna of the Church of God of the Catholic Diocese of One Spirit for nominating me for the Elderly Awards of 2013. They further brought me to tears by so many from the church [http://ecogph.weebly.com] coming all the way from Dasmarinas, Cavite for the awarding ceremony, Sunday October 6, 2013 at San Beda Benedictine Monastery and College in Manila.
When Patrick first informed me I had been selected by COSE with nine others for the “Sampung Ulirang Nakatatanda 2013” (Ten Outstanding Elderly Award of 2013 [of the country]), I was stricken with the same thought told by Pope Francis about when he was elected, “Me? A sinner?”
I researched COSE on Facebook and elsewhere. COSE is doing wonderful work in advocacy for the elderly from The Mountain Province in the North to Davao in the south. Their VISION is impressive: “An equitable society that upholds the rights of older people, respects cultural diversity, nurtures their potentials, recognizes them as a significant sector and ensures that they remain healthy, self-reliant, secure and free to love God and people.”
How they carry that out is spelled out in their mission (http://cosephil.wordpress.com)
I sat down and wrote a thank you acceptance speech. Of course I soon realized it was too long to be delivered, so I sent it to them by email.
Each awardee was introduced by a short “Youtube-type” video showing a glimpse of their work for humanity. The five before me were excellent videos. I wondered what could possibly be done for a video about me. I was amazed. There on the mammoth screen before the eyes of hundreds was a very professional two or three-minute “movie.” I later found out it had been researched, compiled, directed and produced by COSE with a lot of resources from Fr. Regen Luna.
At the ceremony each of us was given a few minutes to speak after the presentation of the trophy and award.
I spoke, at first hesitantly, only the basic contents. I wanted to thank more people. For example, I was so grateful when Pastor Egay Constantino and the good people my friends from the church I founded in 1991, now called MCC Makati, came out to San Beda to support me at the ceremony. [https://www.facebook.com/mccph.makati.9]
The official program places this caption under my photo, “Bishop Richard R. Mickley, 84, from Pasig [in Metro Manila], for 22 years proclaiming God’s love and acceptance of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender [LGBT] community members.”
Here’s an introductory youtube video posted on my Facebook by Fr. Regen Luna from a local TV newscast, PTV PH. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSyrHSJn098&feature=youtu.be
The following is part of what I would have said if each of us could have spoken as long as our heart desired.
Thank You, COSE (Coalition of Services of the Elderly, Inc.)
(by Bishop Richard R. Mickley of the Catholic Diocese of One Spirit, Co-coordinator of The Well)
(Prepared in gratitude to COSE for recognition in the colorful, spectacular ceremony at Abbot Lopez Hall, San Beda College, Manila, as one of the outstanding older persons of 2013, October 6, 2013.)
Thank you. Hello, my name is Richard, and I am an alcoholic. I am accustomed these days to “being the oldest.” I am the oldest in our barangay senior citizen 7:00AM tai chi class (MWF). But today I am a junior to Lolo Julian Siarot from Davao, over there on the end. Did you see him walk right up the steps to the stage with no cane? He is so old that he is a veteran of World War II. I only came along six years later and served in the Korean War in South Korea.
I had my last drink of beer when I was 43 just before I went to rehab when Rizal was 110 and you were very young. There in 1971 I learned to drink the everlasting water Jesus offered the Samaritan woman at the well. The Well became significant in my life.
There I learned also the 12 Steps to Recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous. But I learned them under the watchful eye of Tom Powers, one of the authors of the now world-famous 12 Steps to Recovery which have literally saved the lives of millions. So for 42 years I have been able to share this awesomely spiritual recovery program with many many people in three countries.
At that rehab program, which was so life-saving for me, they had ideas of healing my sex addiction, too. I had a wonderful wife, mother of nine amazing kids in the suburb, and a boyfriend or two in the inner city. But I went to that rehab for alcohol. I did not think their sex rehab idea had anything to do with my recovery from alcohol problems.
Well, for the next ten years I worked on that in therapy, prayer, and study. I published my first book on the subject, Christian Sexuality, in 1975. Then I was able to start helping other people sort out their sexuality, dealing with problems arising from both homophobia and compulsive sex. Thus, I gained experience because of my own life events in working with all kinds of addiction as well as sexuality issues of all kinds.
By 1981 my gay friends were starting to die, 50 of them, one after another, from a strange unknown disease, then often thought of as a gay disease. About all I could do was be with them, cook for them, wash their clothes, clean their bathrooms, and hold their hands when they died.
In 1983 scientists discovered that it was caused by a virus they named HIV. Doctors began to develop medicines, and we began to develop wholistic well-being programs to keep the virus from doing harm. I worked with my friends in wholistic well-being. I served as coordinator of the Interfaith AIDS ministry of churches and faiths in New Zealand, and coordinator of the Faith-based program of the Aids Society of the Philippines. Thus, thank God, I gained experience in dealing with every angle of wholistic well-being for persons living with HIV.
Twenty-two years ago in 1991, although I was already retirement age, 43 people had signed a petition for me to come to Manila and help them with the sexuality message I had been teaching for almost 20 years. One person wrote to me, “I have been kicked out of my church because I am gay. There is nobody here in the Philippines helping gay and lesbian people who love the Lord.” I gave up my home, car, salary, and job as pastor in New Zealand, and came to Manila.
After ten years I received a letter from a young lawyer in the Bureau of Immigration telling me that I must leave the country within a week for violating the Constitution with my blatant homosexual advocacy. I had founded the first openly gay and lesbian organization in the country. I had been an organizer of the first gay and lesbian Pride March in Asia 25 years after such marches were popular all over the world. And I was publicly teaching at university symposia and TV shows that it is not a sin to love the person you love, and I was even blessing their love in wedding ceremonies.
Leave the country within the week. My fellow LGBT activist friends, of whom there were many by that time, suddenly caused an avalanche of letters to land in the Immigration Commissioner’s office about the work I had done in the country to bring to LGBT people a new understanding of justice and freedom from the shackles of homophobia.
That was in 2003. Before long I received a letter from Commissioner Andrea D. Domingo to the effect that I was not being deported, but rather was being made a Filipino by permanent residence “for the valuable work you have done for the people of the Philippines.”
In 2009 I met Argel Tuason. He was looking for a prayer partner. We prayed every week for four years. We meditated on the Gospel. One day we pondered the parable of the Good Samaritan. We felt like Jesus was speaking directly to us. A man was wounded, in need of help. A priest and a Levite passed him up and rushed on to the temple to pray. Jesus did not praise them. But a despised Samaritan man stopped and helped the wounded man get started on his recovery. Jesus praised him, even though the religion of Jesus rejected the marginalized Samaritans as a despised minority, just as the religion of Jesus so often does to LGBT people today.
Argel and I asked ourselves, “What is Jesus telling us? We have been smugly proud of ourselves for praying together for four years. In the meantime uncounted numbers of our LGBT friends are struggling with serious life difficulties.”
We prayed and planned. We opened The Well in May 2013 to help wounded people get started on recovery programs. We knew it is time to get off our knees long enough to do what Jesus urged us to do when he told the story of the Good Samaritan.
Thanks to our fabulous volunteer staff, there is no charge of any kind. The Well is about healing, not money. We don’t have an office or meeting rooms. We do have people with serious life difficulties and we have support groups for them. For persons living with HIV to live fully with wholistic wellness, addicts of all kinds of addiction to step out and live in wellness. People who want relationships happiness to learn how to live in a happy adult love relationship. And all in wholistic wellness.
The seriousness of an HIV support program became very clear to me when a beloved member of my own family informed me that he was HIV positive. I could not just tell him, “Do everything right, and you will be ok.” I put in writing exactly what I mean by “doing everything right.” And I developed support group programs. In The Well we welcome people living with HIV to support each other in a program of wholistic health and well-being.
People with sex addiction were very enthusiastic, dedicated and committed to stepping out of the problems their compulsive sex was causing them. One such person was so serious he wanted to be in a support group several times a week. More meetings were scheduled. He is coming every time. He is making wonderful progress.
More groups, more support, similar stories of sincere people and dedicated staff members. I am grateful to COSE for the recognition that should be shared by my bishop, Jim Burch, for his faith in me and his encouragement; to Co-CDOS priest, Fr. Regen Luna Pastor of ECOG Dasmarinas; to my nominator, Pastoral Servant Leader, Patrick Bonales, of ECOG Pasig; to my co-founder of The Well, Argel Tuason; and of course to my ever supportive life partner.
Ako si Richard, a sinner, an alcoholic. I share my journey with its experience to help others help themselves in their journey to wellness, happiness, and fulfillment. If I can help one person with HIV to live in wellness and fulfillment, I shall not have lived in vain.
Thank you.
Email: saintaelred@gmail.com
Mobile: 0920 903 4909
http://www.facebook.com/thewellphilippines
http://www.onespiritcatholic.org
All four photos above are courtesy of Fr. Regen Luna’s Facebook page
