Attached (below) is a photo of one table of many tables full of the pillars of the Philippine LGBT Who’s Who (see photo description) myself, easily recognizable as the one with the most gray years.
At beautiful Adarna Food and Culture, 29th October 2011, at the Giting Awards from Lesbian Activism Project, Inc. (LeAP!).
From left seated: Malu Marin, long-time activist, founding member of Task Force Pride (TFP), Lagablab, Ladlad; Jack Hernandez, long-time activist with us here in Manila, now active for Ladlad in the province; Bemz Benedito, current chairperson of Ladlad Party List; Edmond Osorio, executive secretary of Ladlad; Danton Remoto, founder of Ladlad Party List, founding member of Task Force Pride (TFP), Lagablab, author, journalist, inspiration to LGBT people; myself. Background right: Giney Villar, long-time activist, founding member of Task Force Pride (TFP), Lagablab, Ladlad, chef and owner of Adarna Food and Culture with partner, Beth Angsioco.
Honestly when I opened the first openly gay and lesbian LGBT organization in Manila on September 7, 1991, my vision was limited. I could not have imagined that on this memorable day in October in 2011 I would be a pebble on the beach amidst such a multitude of those who now openly help our LGBT people towards that kalayaan and “better life” we are all working for, and among whom I was nominated for a Giting Award.
Of course I did not know what God had in store for me when I was still a farm boy milking cows and making hay in the hills of Danville, Ohio. I suppose my parents had a clue: when most gay boys of 12 would be dressing up in their mother’s finery, I was making paper Mass vestments and dressing like a priest. I still did not know even when I was lying in a tent or foxhole 5000 yards from the enemy line in the war in Korea. Even when I was a Latin teacher winning a scholarship to study Latin and archeology in Rome (after publishing the results of “The Mickley Survey,” a survey I did of the status of Latin teaching in 1500 schools in Ohio), it was still far away from my ultimate calling. When I was a successful businessman, owning two restaurants, two cars, and a big house, I thought I had arrived.
I saw on Facebook the other day Germaine’s question, “We know what Ladlad has done. What has been done for the religious good of the LGBT people of the Philippines?”
From the day my work officially began here 20 years ago to this day (the beginning of my 84th year) I have worked, araw-araw, for the LGBTiq people of the Philippines. In that LGBT assemblage in one of the top restaurants in the country closely linked to our movement, I saw the new hope of our movement and our people in this land which is still dominated by the Fr. Damasos and modern day “friars,” so powerfully lamented by our national hero. I knew that I did not need validation or even remembrance. My work from the start has been the work of the Holy Spirit. The real “Giting” is seen in LeAP, Ladlad, MCC, Rainbow Rights and the numerous individuals and organizations who are tackling head-on various aspects of the LGBT drive for equality.
It surely was God who motivated Michael Santos of San Juan to write that letter that brought me here in 1991. “When is MCC coming to the Philippines? There is no one here helping us gays and lesbians when people and churches are persecuting us.”
That did it. I borrowed money and I came to check it out, not knowing one person in the country. Within six weeks 43 LGBT people signed a petition for me to come here. I gave up my job, my house, my car, my salary – and came, September 7, 1991 – with none of the above. I came because I knew that was what God wanted me to do, what God was empowering me to do, build a community dedicated to announcing God’s unconditional love for LGBT people. That was the beginning of the first openly gay and lesbian organization in Manila.
The following year Oscar Atadero got ProGay started, and he became a member of the Administrative Board of MCC Manila. Together MCC and ProGay set up the first Gay and Lesbian Pride March in Asia on June 26, 1994 culminating in the Quezon Memorial Circle where I gave the keynote speech and led a Queer Pride Mass. (I had celebrated the first Pride Mass in the Philippines on June 26, 1991 with a speech about the world-wide work of MCC in the Cathedral of the Holy Child with Jomar Fleras assisting, 50 people in attendance, and a Methodist pastor and an Aglipayan priest concelebrating.) The media coverage of that First Pride March in 1994 was far-reaching – from Mel and Jay to a tabloid newspaper that would not stop putting MCC on page 1 with exaggerations –until I marched down to their offices and demanded an end to the lies – four more priests coming from LA to help with all the gay marriages, etc.
I started same-sex weddings in the Philippines in 1991, never claiming they were same-sex marriage or using the term. Since then 1000’s have expressed vows in a Holy Union and experienced the wedding they always dreamed of – but were always denied (because of the power of the Catholic bishops over the Congress). If it’s meaningful to their relationship and their commitment, so what’s the harm? There is a lot of good and joy.
In mid October 2011, MCC Quezon City, founded by Rev. Ceejay Agbayani, celebrated its fifth anniversary with a solemn Mass and an awards ceremony in which I was awarded the Gawad Dangal Bahaghari (award) for Lifetime Achievement “for his life’s work and invaluable contribution to the LGBT Community in the Philippines.” When a person is in their 80’s, a recitation of even their resume can be very long, so they started their reciting from 1991 for this award. Hehehe If you want the earlier part, the first 60 years, some of it is listed with photos on the LGBT Religious Archive: http://www.lgbtran.org/Profile.aspx?ID=247
Some of the things they included for the lifetime achievement award for the Philippine 20 years are given here in brief.
In 1999 I joined Malu, Danton, Ging and other LGBT leaders in forming Task Force Pride to keep the annual Pride Marches going after Jomar Fleras and Reachout Foundation staged the marches for three years (culminating in the first, and, as far as we know, only Gay and Lesbian Pride March in the world which marched past a head of state – in the 1998 Centennial Parade.)
I was one of the first to join Lagablab and later among the first to join Ang Ladlad, and let it be said, that I was excited that the situation of the first openly LGBT organization that I started in 1991 had blossomed and bloomed and ballooned to many organizations and a political party, now Ladlad Partylist, for our political and human rights. And for that I compliment its founder, Prof. Dr. Danton Remoto – and all those who have continued to work with him, Bemz Benedicto, the current chairperson, and all the others up and down the archipelago, including Jack Hernandez who worked with us here in Manila for so many years.
After many years as MCC pastor in the United Sates and New Zealand, I was led to heed the call to bring MCC to the Philippines. The purpose of the church was to have a church community where LGBT people were not rejected, but on the contrary, were welcomed as God’s own children, loved in God’s unconditional love. But it had to be an authentic church, a church which based its Creed on the historic Apostles Creed and Nicene Creed of the Christian church, but it also must be an all-around church of prayer, study, and action. Of course, I look with some pride on the work that the four churches are doing that are carrying on that mission now. MCC in Makati with Pastor Egay and Val, MCC in Quezon City with Pastor Ceejay Agbayani and Marlon, and MCC in Baguio with Pastor Myke Sotero, and CUC/CDOS Pastor Regen Luna and Arlan in Dasmarinas, with works starting in Marikina with Jayson Masaganda, and other works in the offing.
After I passed the MCC retirement age by two years, I founded the Gay Mens’ Support Group which ran without interruption for a dozen years, bringing hundreds of gay men to a richer appreciation of themselves as gay men and their life in the community. We started every meeting for 12 years with “Our Prayer.” “God, lead us all from falsehood to truth; lead us from despair to hope, from fear to trust. Lead us all from hate to love, from prejudice to understanding. Let us build one world of justice for all. Let each of us and all of us together be instruments of your peace and healing.”
We instituted the Pink Feather Awards to recognize each year people, straight (for example, Rep. Etta Rosales) and LGBT (for example Danton Remoto and Ging Cristobal) for outstanding contributions to building a better world for LGBT people.
I spoke at universities and organizations throughout Metro Manila on human rights for LGBT people. I was invited repeatedly to popular TV talk shows – from Mel and Jay to Mel and Joey, Debate, Dong Puno, Chris Aquino, and all the others – to emphasize that the human rights of LGBT people include religious rights, to which Rizal himself made reference.
Some of the most fulfilling work is done in private. You don’t look for or make headlines, win awards, or gain recognition when a very upset young man rings your doorbell, comes in, and with deep emotion tells you, “I am HIV positive. My life is over. What do I do now? Don’t tell anybody.” Too often I heard that story. That is one place where I use directive counseling. I tell them where to go to the Department of Health to get into the best program that will overcome the symptoms and the effects of the virus and let a fulfilling life go on and on.
In Los Angeles I saw 50 of my friends die, with months of caring and care from us, their friends, before any of us knew what was causing it (before the virus was discovered in 1983). Now we know, and we know what to do. I spoke at a national conference of the AIDS Foundation of the Philippines. I headed an Inter-Faith Committee for compassionate care to persons with HIV, and over the years counseled persons with HIV and AIDS, and occasionally, conducted funerals. As the years go by, I urge people to get into the right programs and living-with-HIV lifestyle – and there will be no more funerals.
Some of my published works pointed to the negative effects of sex-negative theology (no masturbation, no condoms, no sex ever) and its resulting in more low self-esteem, driving gay men underground with more HIV. On one occasion an emissary of the Vatican, a Monsignor in the Vatican bureaucracy, approached me after reading some of my writings, And said, “Father Mickley, you are rather hard on the church.” I replied, “Monsignor, I respect the Mass and the Sacraments and the Creeds of the Church. What I denounce is the sex-negative teachings which have subjected gay men to the traumas caused by homophobia and rejection, and driven gay people out of the church and away from the loving arms of God, to the underground secretive sex which has resulted in HIV. That’s what I renounce – the harm that homophobia and prejudice continue to cause.” And he went back to the unchanging Vatican with that unheard message denouncing the unbiblical, un-Jesuslike teachings so blasphemously inflicted in the name of our Loving God of unconditional love.
I offered public seminars, workshops, and retreats on such topics as Self-Esteem for LGBT People, Friendship, How to Be Attractive, How to Know God’s Love, LGBT People Can Be Spiritual Too, Lesbian Spirituality, Sexuality and Personhood and many other topics. Many couples find beneficial my “Sharing and growing, Committed Couples Seminar.” I had written my Masters in Counseling Psychology thesis on that theme, and researched it for my doctoral dissertation, and after our work with several couples’ seminars here, I expanded the book with Filipino input to cover ways and means and exercises for enhancing the relationship in 12 crucial areas of relating. Many found the group and the book helpful for building the strong relationship they always wanted.
One memorable seminar was a day-long event at UP Diliman with many students and professors in attendance, entitled “God, Gays, and the Gospel.” I continue that work in cyber seminars now.
At the conclusion of our Sex-Positive Theology Seminar, it is our prayer that these all-too-short studies and experiences with their refreshing positive and uplifting ambience, will result in enhanced informational competency and polished spiritual acumen – for the battle of life in the battlefield of homophobia, strengthened to serve as certified positive counselors for the betterment of all LGBT people.
On several occasions I joined with other LGBT leaders to speak with members of the Congress (House and Senate) about LGBT rights, initially the Anti Discrimination Bill which Rep. Etta Rosales championed so many years (to be trumped by homophobic power) and now is valiantly carried on by Rep. Teddy Casino. On one such occasion in the House, I politely reminded the members of Congress of the courageous stand of the Parliament of Spain in opposition to the Catholic bishops there – not only approving divorce for the people of Spain, but approving same-sex marriage for the LGBT people of Spain. [Oh how I wanted to mention the unbelievable power of the Catholic bishops to hold and force all Filipino people of all religions and non-religions to observe Catholic teachings on divorce, condoms, and marriage. But, of course, I was too polite to tell them that, that they were spineless to vote their conscience in opposition to the vote-controlling power of the bishops. Of course, I would not do that.]
I was honored for the sake of the religious LGBT people of the Philippines to be ordained by Bishop Jim Burch as the first openly gay Catholic bishop with apostolic succession in order to be able to ordain openly LGBT Filipinos for ministry as deacons and priests to bring sex-positive theology and its healing merits to the LGBT Christians of this country. Fr. Regen Luna was the first openly gay priest ordained for this ministry in the Catholic Diocese of One Spirit in the Philippines. More to follow.
Among the works I had an opportunity to do for our people was to serve as first editor of the LGBT news and information magazine published by Bayani Santos, ManilaOUT, along with Simon Arias as co-editor with journalism credentials from the University of the Philippines. We did full length features on outstanding LGBT leaders like Malou and Danton. Also along with Simon Arias we managed the first full scale commercial LGBT bookstore in the Philippines.
As soon as I heard about Jose Rizal, I began reading, buying all the books on him I could find. I went to the historical Institute and got all his writings, letters, etc. It was an obsession. I began telling everyone, “Here is a man of integrity, a man wh0 deserves to be our national hero -- even if he had not died for us, just because of his character, integrity, and wisdom. I sat down and wrote a full length historical novel on his life. I mentioned him, his views, his patriotism, his insights in my speeches and blogs. I am not finished yet.
For 20 years in my new homeland, the beloved homeland of Rizal, I have done what I have been led to do by the Spirit. When I made mistakes, or hurt people, or was considered bad or unethical, it was when I did it my way, and did not follow Rizal or the Spirit of God. I don’t ask for awards for validation of the call to do what I do, pursuing with unswerving focus and purpose what I have been sent to do. The focus and purpose has always been to build a better world for LGBTqi people.
I am grateful for the awards I have received – for the sake of the work. And I say without hesitation the greatest awarded honor I have received in the Philippines was given to me in 2003. After 12 years as a missionary (with a missionary visa) I found out that a person is eligible to apply to be a Filipino with Permanent Residence after 8 years as a missionary. So I innocently applied to be a Filipino with Permanent Residence. Lo and behold! My Board of Directors was summoned to the Immigration offices by a young woman immigration lawyer. She told them I must leave the country within days because I was conducting illegal marriages. She had read my website, and that website must be removed!
Immediately my Board set about contacting LGBT community leaders, friends and congresspersons who were friends. Dozens, maybe hundreds, of letters of appeal and description of my work were sent to the Commissioner of Immigration. Many people sent copies to us. I was humbled by the outpouring of support from the entire community of LGBT people and friends. That was indeed an honor in itself.
Before long, I received a letter from the Commissioner of Immigration informing me that I was not being deported, but was indeed being made a Filipino Permanent Resident for the “beneficial work you have been doing and are doing for the Filipino people.” That to me was indisputably a high honor. Filipino na ako; Pilipinas kong mahal.
I know it’s best to be realistic. The Catholic Order I belonged to for so many of my younger years has an amazing and wonderful alumni organization of all the former priest-members of the Order, and other members, and we all get all the mailings, prayer requests, and death notices that current members get. Another priest, one of my few remaining classmates was the subject of a death notice the other day. I did not know I was gay then, but now I know I must have had a crush on him. But his passing is one more reminder to keep on working while the Lord gives me strength. The work is never done.
In my retirement, day by day, I continue my mission, counseling, speaking, teaching, officiating at same-sex weddings, and teaching sex-positive thinking seminars, one on one, free, by email (saintaelred@gmail.com). And I might say, in accordance with my mission, I have never charged for a wedding, a house blessing, business blessing, seminar, or other ministry in the twenty years I have been called here. That has always seemed contrary to the mission for me to require payment for what the Holy Spirit has guided and empowered me to do.
Before I knew I was gay, my focus from age 13 was to bring all people within the boundaries of my (future) ministry to know, love, and serve God. When God made it clear that my ministry was with LGBTqi people, I did not swerve. It is no less than the focus of Jesus who said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it fully.”
My only regret is that it took me away from the immediate attention I should have given my own beloved offspring.
A church can be no less than a community finding and knowing and sharing a God of boundless unconditional love and acceptance – our model for being a people of unbounded love and acceptance (and encouragement) for all people around us. And for us, that’s the beloved LGBTqi people who are the beloved LGBTqi people of God.
Those are some of the thoughts I am pondering as I enter my 84th year. My grown children lost their wonderful mother to cancer this year. My regret is that I am so far away and cannot ever fill the tremendous loss they are feeling from that irreplaceable loss.
I am grateful to everyone who has shown me the proverbial Filipino hospitality for these 20 years. It is meaningful to me when those with whom I have had a chance to share a precious moment express their gratitude, as this one did the other day, “You’re appreciated so much for what you have done. It is comforting to know your heart was in it. You never stop caring or making a difference. With your generosity you lift spirits and make smiles appear. Your kindness will always be remembered.”
That’s the Lord’s way. I can do no less. It is the Lord’s work. It is the Lord’s power. Who am I to claim credit? Before my retirement, that was my calling to lead a church in that same mission. As bishop now, I encourage my fellow priests to pursue that same mission with focus and purpose, always keeping our eyes on Jesus. And, so, Germaine, that’s the start of an answer to your question.
And another great honor came my way the other day. I was having a ministry training meeting with a group of protégés. One of them, speaking for the group, said, “Bishop, sometimes you speak of the day when your active ministry will come to an end. We want you to know that your ministry will never end. We will continue your legacy. We will continue the work you have begun for the religious good of the LGBT people of this country.” Wow. What an honor.
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