It’s December 26 as I write. The banner headline of the Philippine Daily Inquirer announces the pope’s Christmas message: Pope prays: Break rods of oppressors. The sub headline is: Resist persecution, Christians urged.
On the surface, the pope’s message sounds beautiful, and it is – as far as it goes. He actually is targeting the oppressors in Iraq and china, and could well include Saudi Arabia and wherever Moslem extremists blow up Christian churches on Christmas and around the year. (One such bombing in our own country was reported in the same edition.)
“Help us to recognize your face in others who need our assistance,” the pope prays, “in those who are suffering or forsaken, in all people, and help us to live together with you as brothers and sisters, so as to become one family.” And surely thatg is our prayer, too.
But, Holy Father, may I humbl;y ask you to see the limitations of your prayer as shown in your action s and policies. Your own LGBT people are suffering. Your own LGBT people are forsaken by you and your church. Please don’t tell me you love the sinner, but hate the sin.
If you really want to see the face of God in all people, help us to live together as brothers and sisters. Please stop trying to set up barriers between us and our loving God. We want to be one family, but we are indeed excluded.
Jesus never showed prejudice once in his whole life, but you, your bishops and your church show prejudice in every statement, in every action against God’s beloved L:GBT people, who by birth were supposed to be your beloved people, but we have been rejected from the family.
You pray for an end to oppression. But what about the oppression from within?
You say, “Resist persecution.” Holy father, when I preach sex-positive theology, I am urging God’s beloved LGBT people to ‘resist Persecution’
When your emissary from the Vatican spoke to me a few years ago, he looked at me and said, “You are hard on the church.” Holy Father, I told him; "Monsignor, I have nothing but respect and love for the church, the church of my grandmother, the church of my parents, the church where I was born, baptized and ordained. It is not the church I denounce, ever, in any way. It is persecution."
What your emissary heard me doing was heeding your advice to Christians to “resist persecution.” It is doing what you urged Christians to do in your Easter message. It is “resisting persecution.” I love the Mass and the sacraments. I resist the persecution which comes from ostracizing and causing suffering for LGBT people who love god, who love their neighbor, and who yearn to “become one family,” as you say.
Holy Father, we all want the Moslem extremists to stop blowing up Christians. One of my very good friends, a good nun had her legs blown off while praying in the cathedral of Jakarta on Christmas Eve a few years ago. We all find that kind of persecution abominable. But Holy father, try to see that your unbiblical NO NO NO rules are also abominable, especially when you condemn the love we have for one another.
Well, what can we do?
We all want to respect the Truth, know the truth. We learn how to do that from our conscience. Avoid sin, and avoid persecution. 68% of Filipinos have done that with regard to condoms. 68% of Filipinos have formed their conscience on the RH Bill which would give Filipinos in civil society some rights about condoms.
But in the same newspaper today, a Catholic bishop is still persecuting Filipinos about the Reproductive Health Bill.
What can we do? We can keep hope alive. We can see God’s Truth prevailing. We can even now, envision 2011 with more hope, more people breaking free from the bondage of persecution. 2011 will see more and more people awakening ti the Truth of Sex-Positive Theology. 68% have a glimpse of it. More will see the whole Truth.
God’s truth is eternal;. It is not like “Yesterday all condoms were sin; today condoms are not sin for male prostitutes.”
The problem with that is, it does not open the eyes to the eternal Truth. It does not see the Light of the World who never showed prejudice and never declared condoms a sin.
Oh my! We all know that. Let’s go further. Let’s make 2011 SPT year.
Let’s get more and more of our friends to join us in the Sex Positive Theology Seminar It’s all by email. (saintaelred@gmsil. com) No charge. No travel. No weekend away from home. Just be comfortable wherever your computer is. Join the battle against persecution. Join the march in celebration of God’s Truth.
Jesus told us He is the Truth.
The Truth will set us free.
2011 will be a year of hope. 2011 will be a better year.
Yes, Holy Father, we will resist persecution.
I join with STRAP, our dear trans gender friends , in their powerful greeting:
“STRAP wishes everyone a Christmas filled with warmth, laughter and hope and a New Year that affirms our dignity, protects our right to self-determination and ensures a good quality of life for all! Happy Holidays!”www.facebook.com/strap.manila
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Christmas is About Justice
On December 20, for the 6th Simbang gabi of 2010, I had the honor of being invited to worship with and bring a message to the faithful Christians of MCC Quezon City, augmented by the good members of Bacardi.
Pastor Ceejay asked me to give a Christmas message on “Justice.”
The traffic is worse than ever this year, but it brings joy to my heart that the people are better than ever.
People ask me why I stay here. It’s not the climate. It’s not the money. It’s the people. God’s people, God’s beloved LGBT people.
May I share that Christnas message with you as my Christmas Message to you – along with a sincere prayer for you to have a blessed and merry Christmas and holidays.
Christmas is all about Justice
We are here tonight for one reason
-- and one only –
to honor Our Lord Jesus Christ,
to commemorate
the birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
One time someone said to me: What’s the difference?
What’s wrong with being a Moslem?
Or a Jew or an Iglesia ni Christo? They believe good things. What’s wrong with that?
I said, nothing is wrong --
except the same thing
that would be wrong with Christmas with only a Santa Claus. I would miss
my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ – no matter how much good
there would be
in those other religions,
the most important person
would be missing.
Why is the birth
of Our Lord Jesus Christ significant?
Why do we observe it every year with so much pomp and ceremony and festivity?
The CBCP (Catholic Bishop Conference of the Philippines) says that Christ should be the center
of the Christmas celebration –
not Santa Claus or elfs or reindeer or beautiful Christmas trees.
Make Christ the center, they say.
Oo, sige, yann. Right on!
The CBCP hit the nail on the head. Just as a religion
without Christ as the center,
Christmas
without Christ as the center
loses all the luster of its other goodies.
But, why on earth
was Jesus born as one of us,
as a human person
who lived and loved
as we live and love?
Why did he become
A person with
Intellectual, bodily,
spiritual, and emotional characteristics just like we have.
Our Christian faith tells us that Jesus came into this world
to set us free.
To set us free from what?
St. Paul says, to set us free
from sin, death, and the Old Law.
The CBCP says we should
make Christ the center
of our celebration of Christ’s birth.
Ok! Sige! But does that mean
the whole obligation
is servewd by placing a doll baby
in swaddling clothes in a manger instead of a Santa Claus
on a one horse open sleigh?
But what about the real purpose of Jesus becoming one of us,
starting as a baby in swaddling clothes in a manager?
Should we not look
at His purpose?
And that, we said,
was to set us free –
free from sin, death,
and the Old Law?
Would that not be a just and proper celebration of Christmas?
Now just look at what happened two days ago in Washington DC. There was a law for almost 20 years that said gays and lesbians had to stay in the closet
if they wanted to be
in the US military.
The would-be good Christian fundamentalist homophobic bigots wanted to keep that law.
They put heavy pressure
on congress to keep that law.
But two days ago,
justice triumphed
in Washington DC in spite of the so-called
good Christians
who wanted to save the military from the gays and the lesbians. The old “don’t ask don’t tell” law
is gone
(don’t ask if a military person is gay; don’t tell if you are a LGBT military person)
with the signature
of President Obama.
Now which of these is the justice of Jesus Christ who never in his whole life showed prejudice?
The prejudice of the good Christian bigots,
or the justice
of the Congress and president
who finally overturned the law?
Will we ever see such justice
in our country?
Will our congress ever put justice above their fear of the CBCP bishops (who would use their power to get the congress member not elected
the next time around?
What law are we thinking about that screams for justice?
One is the anti-discrimination law, to reduce the discrimination against LGBT people.
Another one is the no-divorce law. Yes, the Philippines sits
as the only country in the world besides the island of Malta
which does not give its citizens
the freedom of divorce.
Is that justice?
200+ nations see it
as a human right.
One country’s bishops block it.
So far, justice has taken
a back seat to fear of the bishops.
The church which says
make Jesus the center of Christmas –
is the same church which completely violates
the justice of Jesus,
the same church which deprives its citizens decade after decade, from the days of Damaso
to the present,
deprives its citizens
of their God-given rights to human life and dignity,
as that church just clings
to their Old Laws
of NO NO NO: no masturbation, no sex except
in marriage to make a baby,
no sex ever in your whole life, never in any way,
never in any place,
never in any position
or circumstance –
if you are gay or lesbian.
The church who says keep Christ in Christmas,
instead of living and teaching
by the teachings
and example of Jesus,
instead of freeing us
from sin and death,
imposes sin
and condemns us to death
in the fires of hell.
They would declare our love sin. What’s the justice in that?
They would declare
that divorce is sin
and pressure Congress
never to allow any Filipino – Christian, Moslem , or atheist – the right to choose divorce
in their circumstances of life.
Is that justice?
They would impose the sentence of death in hell
for the natural harmless pleasure
of masturbation.
Is that justice?
They would insist that Catholic parents of many children with no ulam, no baon,
stick to that church’s demand
of NO CONDOMS.
Is that justice?
Is that common sense?
They would likewise resist reproductive health
with the possibility of condoms
for all Filipinos.
Is that the justice of Jesus?
Is that why Jesus was born
to live and love as we live and love?
Jesus came to Bethlehem
to set us free,
Jesus said
the truth will set you free.
Jesus said, I am the truth.
My friends, The life and total lack of prejudice in the life of Jesus gives us a glimpse of the Truth. The Truth that Jesus is
sets us free
from the sin declared by the CBCP,
from the sentence of death, declared by the CBCP,
from the Old Laws
declared by the CBCP.
These old laws do not give us
the freedom that Jesus brought us. They bring slavery,
moral slavery to a list of
sexual NO No No’s
including No Condoms,
No divorce, and no same sex love.
Yes, let’s put Christ in Christmas; let’s put Christ
in the center of Christmas;
let’s put Jesus and His Truth
in the center of our lives.
Let us honor Christ at Christmas; let us honor the Christ
who is the Truth.
And the truth is
that we are
God’s beloved LGBT children
and our God sets us free to love.
But my dear friends,
we cannot just demand
that the CBCP do justice
to the message
and mission of Jesus Christ.
Is that enough?
Where is our own loyalty to the message and mission
of Jesus Christ?
We say,
THEY should allow us to love.
Do we love,
or do we seek
only our own pleasure?
Jesus Christ came to Bethlehem, yes, but he came
and lived and loved and died –
not for himself – but for others, for us, his friends.
Is the other a priority for you,
for me?
Do we want sex
just for our own pleasure?
Do we treat our partner
as a body we have used for our fun, or do we treat our partner
as a person whom we have loved?
And do I always want
to WIN every argument?
Do I always in a relationship want to get my own way?
Do I always plot –
how can I get what I want?
OR do I follow
the life and example of Jesus whom we see as one who came
not to be loved, not to be served, but to love and to serve?
When I have a disagreement with my loved one,
do I ponder how to win,
or do I do it the Jesus way,
and ponder
“WHAT CAN I DO
for my LOVED ONE?
What can I DO
TO MAKE
MY LOVED ONE HAPPY?
How can I be like Jesus who came to set us free
from selfishness and sin?
Yes, we are here to honor Jesus, to commemorate his birth among us –
Not just with a doll baby in swaddling clothes in a crib, but with our love and justice. Maybe justice is the real meaning of “Peace on earth,
good will to all.”
God bless us all.
Pastor Ceejay asked me to give a Christmas message on “Justice.”
The traffic is worse than ever this year, but it brings joy to my heart that the people are better than ever.
People ask me why I stay here. It’s not the climate. It’s not the money. It’s the people. God’s people, God’s beloved LGBT people.
May I share that Christnas message with you as my Christmas Message to you – along with a sincere prayer for you to have a blessed and merry Christmas and holidays.
Christmas is all about Justice
We are here tonight for one reason
-- and one only –
to honor Our Lord Jesus Christ,
to commemorate
the birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ.
One time someone said to me: What’s the difference?
What’s wrong with being a Moslem?
Or a Jew or an Iglesia ni Christo? They believe good things. What’s wrong with that?
I said, nothing is wrong --
except the same thing
that would be wrong with Christmas with only a Santa Claus. I would miss
my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ – no matter how much good
there would be
in those other religions,
the most important person
would be missing.
Why is the birth
of Our Lord Jesus Christ significant?
Why do we observe it every year with so much pomp and ceremony and festivity?
The CBCP (Catholic Bishop Conference of the Philippines) says that Christ should be the center
of the Christmas celebration –
not Santa Claus or elfs or reindeer or beautiful Christmas trees.
Make Christ the center, they say.
Oo, sige, yann. Right on!
The CBCP hit the nail on the head. Just as a religion
without Christ as the center,
Christmas
without Christ as the center
loses all the luster of its other goodies.
But, why on earth
was Jesus born as one of us,
as a human person
who lived and loved
as we live and love?
Why did he become
A person with
Intellectual, bodily,
spiritual, and emotional characteristics just like we have.
Our Christian faith tells us that Jesus came into this world
to set us free.
To set us free from what?
St. Paul says, to set us free
from sin, death, and the Old Law.
The CBCP says we should
make Christ the center
of our celebration of Christ’s birth.
Ok! Sige! But does that mean
the whole obligation
is servewd by placing a doll baby
in swaddling clothes in a manger instead of a Santa Claus
on a one horse open sleigh?
But what about the real purpose of Jesus becoming one of us,
starting as a baby in swaddling clothes in a manager?
Should we not look
at His purpose?
And that, we said,
was to set us free –
free from sin, death,
and the Old Law?
Would that not be a just and proper celebration of Christmas?
Now just look at what happened two days ago in Washington DC. There was a law for almost 20 years that said gays and lesbians had to stay in the closet
if they wanted to be
in the US military.
The would-be good Christian fundamentalist homophobic bigots wanted to keep that law.
They put heavy pressure
on congress to keep that law.
But two days ago,
justice triumphed
in Washington DC in spite of the so-called
good Christians
who wanted to save the military from the gays and the lesbians. The old “don’t ask don’t tell” law
is gone
(don’t ask if a military person is gay; don’t tell if you are a LGBT military person)
with the signature
of President Obama.
Now which of these is the justice of Jesus Christ who never in his whole life showed prejudice?
The prejudice of the good Christian bigots,
or the justice
of the Congress and president
who finally overturned the law?
Will we ever see such justice
in our country?
Will our congress ever put justice above their fear of the CBCP bishops (who would use their power to get the congress member not elected
the next time around?
What law are we thinking about that screams for justice?
One is the anti-discrimination law, to reduce the discrimination against LGBT people.
Another one is the no-divorce law. Yes, the Philippines sits
as the only country in the world besides the island of Malta
which does not give its citizens
the freedom of divorce.
Is that justice?
200+ nations see it
as a human right.
One country’s bishops block it.
So far, justice has taken
a back seat to fear of the bishops.
The church which says
make Jesus the center of Christmas –
is the same church which completely violates
the justice of Jesus,
the same church which deprives its citizens decade after decade, from the days of Damaso
to the present,
deprives its citizens
of their God-given rights to human life and dignity,
as that church just clings
to their Old Laws
of NO NO NO: no masturbation, no sex except
in marriage to make a baby,
no sex ever in your whole life, never in any way,
never in any place,
never in any position
or circumstance –
if you are gay or lesbian.
The church who says keep Christ in Christmas,
instead of living and teaching
by the teachings
and example of Jesus,
instead of freeing us
from sin and death,
imposes sin
and condemns us to death
in the fires of hell.
They would declare our love sin. What’s the justice in that?
They would declare
that divorce is sin
and pressure Congress
never to allow any Filipino – Christian, Moslem , or atheist – the right to choose divorce
in their circumstances of life.
Is that justice?
They would impose the sentence of death in hell
for the natural harmless pleasure
of masturbation.
Is that justice?
They would insist that Catholic parents of many children with no ulam, no baon,
stick to that church’s demand
of NO CONDOMS.
Is that justice?
Is that common sense?
They would likewise resist reproductive health
with the possibility of condoms
for all Filipinos.
Is that the justice of Jesus?
Is that why Jesus was born
to live and love as we live and love?
Jesus came to Bethlehem
to set us free,
Jesus said
the truth will set you free.
Jesus said, I am the truth.
My friends, The life and total lack of prejudice in the life of Jesus gives us a glimpse of the Truth. The Truth that Jesus is
sets us free
from the sin declared by the CBCP,
from the sentence of death, declared by the CBCP,
from the Old Laws
declared by the CBCP.
These old laws do not give us
the freedom that Jesus brought us. They bring slavery,
moral slavery to a list of
sexual NO No No’s
including No Condoms,
No divorce, and no same sex love.
Yes, let’s put Christ in Christmas; let’s put Christ
in the center of Christmas;
let’s put Jesus and His Truth
in the center of our lives.
Let us honor Christ at Christmas; let us honor the Christ
who is the Truth.
And the truth is
that we are
God’s beloved LGBT children
and our God sets us free to love.
But my dear friends,
we cannot just demand
that the CBCP do justice
to the message
and mission of Jesus Christ.
Is that enough?
Where is our own loyalty to the message and mission
of Jesus Christ?
We say,
THEY should allow us to love.
Do we love,
or do we seek
only our own pleasure?
Jesus Christ came to Bethlehem, yes, but he came
and lived and loved and died –
not for himself – but for others, for us, his friends.
Is the other a priority for you,
for me?
Do we want sex
just for our own pleasure?
Do we treat our partner
as a body we have used for our fun, or do we treat our partner
as a person whom we have loved?
And do I always want
to WIN every argument?
Do I always in a relationship want to get my own way?
Do I always plot –
how can I get what I want?
OR do I follow
the life and example of Jesus whom we see as one who came
not to be loved, not to be served, but to love and to serve?
When I have a disagreement with my loved one,
do I ponder how to win,
or do I do it the Jesus way,
and ponder
“WHAT CAN I DO
for my LOVED ONE?
What can I DO
TO MAKE
MY LOVED ONE HAPPY?
How can I be like Jesus who came to set us free
from selfishness and sin?
Yes, we are here to honor Jesus, to commemorate his birth among us –
Not just with a doll baby in swaddling clothes in a crib, but with our love and justice. Maybe justice is the real meaning of “Peace on earth,
good will to all.”
God bless us all.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
LGBT People Are Spiritual Too
Fr. Richard R. Mickley, C.D.O.S., Ph.D.
In the photo above, you see me on the stage, with Pastors Egay, Ceejay, and Myke standing behind me. If you want to see several hundred more photos of the event, go to my Facebook or become my Facebook friend.
It was good to see so many friends at the Pride March. Many thanks to Chard Ng and Mark Vondraye Simbillo for the wonderful photos from their Facebook albums.)
Ten years from now if someone asks me how I celebrated my 82nd birthday, one of the things I will say is that I walked 3.5 kilometers with 5,000 beautiful people. The city of Quezon city has hosted a fabulous [3.5 kilometers long] parade and well-lighted sound stage for this 16th year after the first Gay and Lesbian Pride March in Asia was held right here in Quezon City.
But some gays and lesbians love their God so much that they want to find a solution.
In 1991, Michael Santos of San Juan did care, and did want to find a solution. He wrote a letter which I got, saying, “I have been kicked out of my church for being gay. When is MCC going to come to the Philippines and help people like me to be at peace with God?”
I left my job as pastor of a thriving MCC LGBT church in New Zealand. I left my salary, my car, my big house, my friends. I came here where I did not know one person.
I began to meet people who told me, “There is not one person helping gay and lesbian Christians in this country. There is no one speaking out publicly to tell them they are OK.”
I set up the first openly gay and lesbian organization in the country, Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), and began to preach the message in church and on television and through the newspapers and magazines – that God loves Gay and lesbian people unconditionally.
Then they asked, “If that is true, why can’t we have weddings like everybody else can?” So I started having weddings for same-sex couples. Now there are three pastors also offering Holy Unions.
Then I had a debate on TV with a popular Catholic bishop, and he said the Bible condemns gay and lesbian love-making. I told him there is not one word, one verse, or one story in the entire Bible which condemns our love. Then I developed a four-hour seminar to prove that the Bible does not condemn our love.
One day a lesbian said to me, “My church says that the Bible does not like women who love women.” I told her, “My dear, that is not true. One whole book of the Bible is about the love story of two women, Ruth and Naomi, the book of Ruth.”
Her gay friend was standing beside her and he asked, “But what about men loving men?” I told him there are some beautiful stories about men who loved men in the Bible. The great King David, who wrote the prayer book of Jesus, after he killed the giant Goliath, fell in love with Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and their beautiful love story is told in the Bible.
And, yes, even Jesus had a lover. Eight times the Bible tells us that there was one special one who was called the beloved of Jesus, the beloved disciple who was allowed to cuddle with Jesus, lie with his head on the heart of Jesus. That’s not the Da Vinci Code; that’s not a novel or fiction; that’s the Bible. And who did Jesus turn his mother over to when he was dying on the cross? He gave his mother over to the care of his lover, John, the beloved disciple. Imagine that! So, I told the gay friend of my lesbian friend, “So you see, the Bible is not against same-sex love. It’s the bishops of the church who reject us.”
They teach sex-negative theology. In contrast, I have developed three courses in Sex-Positive Theology. They deal in detail with all these things about spirituality and sexuality. They are available free of charge by email (saintaelred@gmail.com)
And you know what? The Filipino people are beginning to realize that what the bishops say about these matters is not necessarily what God says about these issues.
Today 85% of Filipinos may be Catholic, but 69% of them disagree with their bishops. 69% favor the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill.
Of course we know that morality is not determined by the majority. We also know that it’s true that 69%, at least, disagree with the NO, NO, NO teachings of the bishops.
Then people kept on talking to me. “I went to confession,” the gay guy said. “The priest got real mad at me when I told him I masturbated.”
Then another gay guy, his friend, said, “That’s nothing. You should have heard what the priest said when I told him I was having sex with my boy friend.”
Everywhere I went I heard stories like that. But in church and out of church I told them that in MCC, we know that LGBT people can be Christian. And thousands are.
The Rev. Troy Perry brought that message to the world when he founded MCC in 1968, a year before the Stonewall Riots. And I brought MCC and that message to the Philippines in 1991.
The church still says NO, NO, NO. But thank goodness the pope now permits male prostitutes to use condoms to prevent AIDS. Praise the Lord! That means male prostitutes are OK. If you are a call boy, rejoice, the pope says you are OK.
Yesterday my call boy friend asked me, “What about all those condom sins I committed before the pope said it was OK? Were they sins?”
I answered, “My dear, they were not sins in the first place. It’s just that the church is very slow in catching up with modern science and modern psychology and real people in today’s real world.”
Ladies and gentlemen, there is only one Truth. God’s truth — and the truth is that God loves you.
In 1994 when MCC and Pro Gay with Oscar Atadero co-sponsored the first Pride March in Asia, somebody said, “We have a human right to our sexuality and a human right to our spirituality.”
I told my friend, “You know, MCC in Makati (Pastor Egay), MCC in QC (Pastor Ceejay), MCC in Baguio (Pastor Myke) [pointing to the three pastors standing behind me on the stage] just keep on telling people all about that. God is love. YES, YES, YES Love your neighbor, love your lover, love God. Love, love, love. It’s all about love.”
Bishop, Catholic Diocese of One Spirit, Philippines
(The following is a slight expansion of the three-minute remarks, requested by the Task Force Pride - TFP, who have been organizers of the Pride March since 1999, and prepared for delivery at the program following the 2010 Pride March, December 4, 2010 on Tomas Morato in Quezon City.
In retrospect this march has been declared the largest in Philippine LGBT Pride March history. The 51 participating organizations are a far cry from the MCC and Pro Gay Sponsors and friends who marched in the rain from EDSA on Quezon Avenue to Quezon Memorial Circle on June 26, 1994.
This year, standing on the well-lit sound stage, I could not see the huge crowd. But when the lights were dimmed for the candle lighting, it seemed like there must have been five thousand out there, united in “One Love,” the theme of this year’s celebration.
In the photo above, you see me on the stage, with Pastors Egay, Ceejay, and Myke standing behind me. If you want to see several hundred more photos of the event, go to my Facebook or become my Facebook friend.
It was good to see so many friends at the Pride March. Many thanks to Chard Ng and Mark Vondraye Simbillo for the wonderful photos from their Facebook albums.)
Ten years from now if someone asks me how I celebrated my 82nd birthday, one of the things I will say is that I walked 3.5 kilometers with 5,000 beautiful people. The city of Quezon city has hosted a fabulous [3.5 kilometers long] parade and well-lighted sound stage for this 16th year after the first Gay and Lesbian Pride March in Asia was held right here in Quezon City.
When I spoke at the first March,
I could never have dreamed that 16 years later so many many of you would be here tonight. I am thrilled. God bless you.
Many gays and lesbians don’t care whether they are kicked out of their church, or not. They are fed up with rejection, with the no, no, no preaching of their church. It’s always NO Masturbation, NO Condoms, NO Same-sex Love.
But some gays and lesbians love their God so much that they want to find a solution.
In 1991, Michael Santos of San Juan did care, and did want to find a solution. He wrote a letter which I got, saying, “I have been kicked out of my church for being gay. When is MCC going to come to the Philippines and help people like me to be at peace with God?”
I left my job as pastor of a thriving MCC LGBT church in New Zealand. I left my salary, my car, my big house, my friends. I came here where I did not know one person.
I began to meet people who told me, “There is not one person helping gay and lesbian Christians in this country. There is no one speaking out publicly to tell them they are OK.”
I set up the first openly gay and lesbian organization in the country, Metropolitan Community Church (MCC), and began to preach the message in church and on television and through the newspapers and magazines – that God loves Gay and lesbian people unconditionally.
Then they asked, “If that is true, why can’t we have weddings like everybody else can?” So I started having weddings for same-sex couples. Now there are three pastors also offering Holy Unions.
Then I had a debate on TV with a popular Catholic bishop, and he said the Bible condemns gay and lesbian love-making. I told him there is not one word, one verse, or one story in the entire Bible which condemns our love. Then I developed a four-hour seminar to prove that the Bible does not condemn our love.
One day a lesbian said to me, “My church says that the Bible does not like women who love women.” I told her, “My dear, that is not true. One whole book of the Bible is about the love story of two women, Ruth and Naomi, the book of Ruth.”
Her gay friend was standing beside her and he asked, “But what about men loving men?” I told him there are some beautiful stories about men who loved men in the Bible. The great King David, who wrote the prayer book of Jesus, after he killed the giant Goliath, fell in love with Jonathan, the son of King Saul, and their beautiful love story is told in the Bible.
And, yes, even Jesus had a lover. Eight times the Bible tells us that there was one special one who was called the beloved of Jesus, the beloved disciple who was allowed to cuddle with Jesus, lie with his head on the heart of Jesus. That’s not the Da Vinci Code; that’s not a novel or fiction; that’s the Bible. And who did Jesus turn his mother over to when he was dying on the cross? He gave his mother over to the care of his lover, John, the beloved disciple. Imagine that! So, I told the gay friend of my lesbian friend, “So you see, the Bible is not against same-sex love. It’s the bishops of the church who reject us.”
They teach sex-negative theology. In contrast, I have developed three courses in Sex-Positive Theology. They deal in detail with all these things about spirituality and sexuality. They are available free of charge by email (saintaelred@gmail.com)
And you know what? The Filipino people are beginning to realize that what the bishops say about these matters is not necessarily what God says about these issues.
Today 85% of Filipinos may be Catholic, but 69% of them disagree with their bishops. 69% favor the Reproductive Health (RH) Bill.
Of course we know that morality is not determined by the majority. We also know that it’s true that 69%, at least, disagree with the NO, NO, NO teachings of the bishops.
Then people kept on talking to me. “I went to confession,” the gay guy said. “The priest got real mad at me when I told him I masturbated.”
Then another gay guy, his friend, said, “That’s nothing. You should have heard what the priest said when I told him I was having sex with my boy friend.”
Everywhere I went I heard stories like that. But in church and out of church I told them that in MCC, we know that LGBT people can be Christian. And thousands are.
The Rev. Troy Perry brought that message to the world when he founded MCC in 1968, a year before the Stonewall Riots. And I brought MCC and that message to the Philippines in 1991.
The church still says NO, NO, NO. But thank goodness the pope now permits male prostitutes to use condoms to prevent AIDS. Praise the Lord! That means male prostitutes are OK. If you are a call boy, rejoice, the pope says you are OK.
Yesterday my call boy friend asked me, “What about all those condom sins I committed before the pope said it was OK? Were they sins?”
I answered, “My dear, they were not sins in the first place. It’s just that the church is very slow in catching up with modern science and modern psychology and real people in today’s real world.”
Ladies and gentlemen, there is only one Truth. God’s truth — and the truth is that God loves you.
In 1994 when MCC and Pro Gay with Oscar Atadero co-sponsored the first Pride March in Asia, somebody said, “We have a human right to our sexuality and a human right to our spirituality.”
[In the photo below, taken at the first Pride March in the Philippines and in Asia in 1994, Oscar is shown top left among the MCC participants.]
Today the Pride March, LGBT Pride, includes the right to love God and our lover according to our conscience – Catholic, Protestant, Moslem, atheist or whatever. We have a right not to be denied our spiritual rights.
I told my friend, “You know, MCC in Makati (Pastor Egay), MCC in QC (Pastor Ceejay), MCC in Baguio (Pastor Myke) [pointing to the three pastors standing behind me on the stage] just keep on telling people all about that. God is love. YES, YES, YES Love your neighbor, love your lover, love God. Love, love, love. It’s all about love.”
Monday, November 15, 2010
My 82nd Birthday; some thoughts, some photos
82nd Birthday Blog 2010 – Memories Again
So, what about my 82nd birthday?
Before she passed to eternal happiness at almost 92, I last talked with her when she was 91, just the two of us, “Richard,” she said, “I understand. Maybe the others don’t understand, but you are doing what you know God wants you to do.”
May I solicit, maybe for the first time in my life, a birthday present? As you read the following paragraphs, will you select one event or one idea and send me the gift of a bit of feedback, your thoughts on that item? Much appreciated.
The Greatest Joy of my Life
It is a tremendous blessing for a pastor to officiate at a Baptism, especially at an adult Baptism of one whom I have prepared for this sacrament. It is an unequalled and humbling privilege to stand as an Alter Christus (another Christ) in the celebration of the ancient apostolic sacrament of the Eucharist, and yes, too, the laying on of hands in the passing on of the priesthood in apostolic succession. Blessings and privileges, indeed.
But the greatest joy of my life can be expressed in the simplest of terms. The joy of sitting at table with the nine people I love most in this world is not exceeded by any other spiritual, physical, intellectual, or emotional joy. Nothing equals the joy of romping at the zoo or at the beach or at the side yard with them. Packing them into the family station wagon or camper van (beds for all ten) and off we went… Preparing their breakfast and seeing them off to school… Of an evening helping with homework… It was my fate to somehow deprive myself of the perpetuation of that joy, but it can never be denied nor taken away.
Each year for nine years I experienced seeing the “Gift of God” presented right before my eyes, following the labor pains, joyfully suffered by a good and loving mother. My heart leapt for joy and beat with love as I stopped each time on the way home from the hospital to place the newborn treasure on the altar of the Blessed Mother at our parish church, imploring her lifelong watching over, “Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection was left unaided…”
The joy continued on the day of Baptism for each, and on and on till each grew into the outstanding person he or she became with such a wonderful mother. Even the joy of watching son, Rick (now a football coach) catch three passes in a college football game on Father’s Day. Yes, I feel more pride than I deserve to feel in what she and they have become.
Even today at 82, I remember with glee being asked by a bishop (who hired me to work for him as a religious educator) if I felt an inferiority complex having such a beautiful, talented, intelligent, and wonderful wife (obviously superior to me in so many ways). I replied that I was thankful to God for such a great gift to our children and me.
I was always grateful that Fr. Jim Froelich, my seminary classmate, came to our wedding, and along with Fr. Jim McKay and other Brunnerdale Seminary priests who stayed close to our family over the years. And they were there for the funeral of my brother, Louie, killed in a freak accident at 33 on the golf course he had just purchased
Inspired by Fr. Paul and Bishop Jim, but falling short of following their example
My friend, Fr. Paul Breton of California, is very consistent and self-disciplined about regular and punctual newsletters – a personal one every month and sometimes several a week with developing LGBT news. Even as I write he is suffering excruciatingly with shingles, yet he went to his computer, hardly able to see, and wrote a letter to all his friends advising them what to do it ever they had a suspicion of shingles. That’s self sacrifice. And that’s just one of the virtues I could extol about Fr. Paul.
And, of course, there is no shortage of virtues or extolling of virtues for my bishop in Virginia, Jim Burch. Of wisdom, there is no limit, and compassion, and zeal for the ministry, and… Oh yes, he just wrote an article for our seminary alumni newsletter, revealing how makulit (actually downright mischievous) he was as a seminarian. And now, facetiously, I am worrying that he might have a relapse as he approaches old age (second childhood.)
Other Memories
I don’t have time to write an autobiography (and who would want to read it anyway?)
But I do hope I will have time to do some biographical work on our national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, just because he deserves to be our national hero as well as one of my idols. As of now there are a couple hundred pages in first draft form – time, time to finish.
Then I have plans for another historical novel, about St. Aelred to bring him out of the shadows of history into real life – since he was so very very real in his life and advocacy of friendship. “If God is Love,” he wrote in his book on same-sex friendship, “then God is Friendship.”
More about “before I die stuff” later.
The cow – 5,740 times
Today at 82 I take it a little easier that I did when I was in grade school. Today I pray the EWTN Mass every day (sometimes twice). It’s partly in Latin (to my delight) and comes from America at 6:00 AM here.
I often flash back, as I have told elsewhere, about learning by heart the Latin prayers of the Mass when I was nine or ten.
By the time I was 12 in Louisville, Ohio, every morning before school I walked with my empty pail down the street to the last remaining farm in the city. (It actually became a city later as a result of an initiative I led when I was President of the Louisville Jaycees.)
In the barn, I milked the family milk cow. Then it was back up the hill with my pail filled with warm fresh milk. I gave the milk to Mom and quickly changed to school clothes and hurried back down the street, over the bridge, across the rail road tracks, and up the hill to the majestic St. Louis Church (after all, St. Louis was a king), near the top of the hill on the border of the business district (just before the Town Tavern later owned by my brother, Gary when he got back with his Bronze Star from the war in Vietnam).
I dashed into the sacristy, donned my black cassock, white surplice, and altar slippers (a custom there), and served the morning Mass. (And never ever was there a scandal among the holy priests and altar boys of that church.)
Then quickly to the classroom where I was allowed to sit in the back of the room and eat the breakfast Mom had prepared and put in a brown paper bag for me (since in those days we could not have even a drop of water from midnight before Holy Communion).
Just for fun I calculated how many dates I had with Ole Bessie, every day before school, every evening after school from Grade 1 through Grade 8 before entering Brunnerdale Seminary high school at age 13. Well, it was 5,740 times – plus a couple of leap years (+4).
I thank my very special parents for that wonderful opportunity to become a workaholic – something that for the most part has served me well most of my life – except it was a terrible waterloo for me as a father of the family. More time for work, less time for those who meant the most to me.
So now, what is retirement for a workaholic. I loved my work as an MCC pastor. In their wisdom, their by laws call for retirement at 65. I slipped by till they caught up with me at 66. So now for the last decade and a half I am down to 18 hours a day in retirement.
Wedding Bells are Ringing
As of now, I still have the fulfilment of bringing joy to numerous committed couples who come to me to bless and celebrate with them their wedding vows.
I brought same-sex weddings to the Philippines almost 20 years ago in 1991. Now, praise God there are three other MCC pastors who also bring this sacrament and blessing to people who find it meaningful.
I just got a call today to fly off to a far away island on a three-day notice – “so we can have our wedding on our first anniversary.” (My caring partner has some rules they must follow if they whisk me off to a far away island, “Do they know how old you are?”)
Speaking of my caring partner, compañero of 12 years, without compromising his privacy, I can only wholeheartedly sing the praises of this man who has faithfully been by my side, caring, supporting, helping, loving,and being loved. I am extremely proud of him professionally. After teaching in the top public and private high schools in the country, he is now teaching in the premier state university.
And he is following his passion in yoga (Bikram) all the way to being a finalist in the national championship competition after three months of practice. His silver medal said 1st place, but the other one said champion, and our friends called to say they saw him on TV.
Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Imagine after only three months to score so well in the national competition, and he even lost two weeks in bed with a flu virus the week before the competition. (First runner-up to a man who is already an internationally trained Bikram yoga instructor.) Expert in swimming, expert in computer, expert teacher, now award-winning yoga asana champion eligible to compete in the International Championship in LA in February 2011. [I celebrated my 82nd birthday participating (sweating) in a 90-minute Bikram yoga class with him. Well, I couldn’t do things like stand on one leg and wrap the other one around my neck, but I was kinda proud of what I could do...]
Recurring thoughts from the past
In seminary I was not known for pranks, like my bishop (see where it got him – up, up the ecclesiastical ladder). I did like to play cards when we had “free day,” go for walks around the lake, and take care of the grotto of the Blessed Mother. I loved my job as sacristan (setting up everything behind the scenes) in the chapel of the major seminary, especially the intricate requirements of the semi-annual ordinations. I wrote for the Society’s publications, and I treasured those years of monastic life in the seminary.
After serving in the United States Army with service in the Korean War (at the same time as Fidel Ramos whom I met as future president of the Philippines), I found it fulfiling and served in the reserves for several years.
Later I experienced spiritual joys and spiritual ups and downs.
For example, my own Cursillo in Christian Community Living and the dozens (was it hundreds) of Cursillos as team member, speaker, rector, or spiritual director (in the Cursillo type Excel movement I founded in MCC).
Cursillo is where I first began to work with Ralph Martin and Steve Clark, traversing the country with them flying from city to city putting on seminars for Cursillo leaders aimed at preserving the integrity and spirituality of the movement. I, of course, get a thrill today when I see Ralph Martin “preaching” to thousands and and tens of thousands more on EWTN. The spirituality of these two amazing men had a tremendous impact on me. I later worked with them as they developed the Life in the Spirit Seminar and the Catholic Pentecostal Movement (as it was known then). Modeled after their Ann Arbor Prayer Meetings, I set up a Prayer meeting at Hillsdale College in Michigan which became an inspiration to the whole college and city under the leadership of Bob Langbauer. (I wonder where he is now? I understand he went to seminary at Berkely.)
In the Cursillo and Pentecostal Prayer meetings we were too occupied with prayer and spirituality to get sidetracked by sexuality issues. In another setting, I had my encounter with “exorcism.” I had read Fr. Morton Kelsey’s book on the Holy Spirit and jumped at the opportunity to attend his seminar on the Holy Spirit in Michigan. I had never spoken the word aloud in my life, but there I was, in a hotel room with the renowned author and some of his assistants. I was crying my heart out, kneeling on the floor before him as he prayed over me for my purging from all traces of homosexuality. The Holy Spirit did not pick up on that prayer, but I sure was confused. I did not know myself any better after than before that emotional experience.
That incident was balanced many years later in another hotel, this time in Denver, Colorado with another world famous author. It was no less than Fr. Norman Pittenger, author of some 100 theology and spiritual books. Not only an influential theologian but an inspiring and spiritual priest. For four hours I was in a kind of ecstasy as we worked on my editing of his 69th book, Gay Lifestyles, later published by MCC’s Fellowship Press, of which I was the Director at the time. For me it was so uplifting to be in the close presence of this impressive man, but humbling for me as a neophyte publisher/editor to be working with an author of his stature. Two years before, we had met at MCC’s General Conference, I think it was in Dallas, where he was the Conference Speaker. When we talked he urged me to write a book, which eventually became my second book, Christian Sexuality.
In addition to being an MCC pastor in several parishes in several states (plus New Zealand and the Philippines), working in the office of Rev. Troy Perry, the founder of the world-wide Metropolitan Community Church, was an awesome experience, praying with him in our daily prayer time in the headquarters office, celebrating Communion for him, weak and feeble, as he fasted on the steps of the Federal Building in Los Angeles to raise funds (successfully) defeat (successfully) the diabolical Proposition 6 which would have banned homosexuals from teaching in California. With the money he raised they were able to show the voters that every teacher (of every gender and orientation) would have his or her bedroom invaded to see if he or she should be banned from the classroom, and they voted smart. And then some 30 years later Proposition 8 came along and the wisdom of the voters turned sour. This time they turned down gay and lesbian (same-sex) marriage in California. That whole thing is still going through the legal hoops…
The Experience in the Mountains of Upstate New York
It can be called the Eastridge Experience. I had the seminary and religious life experience for years and still value my membership in the “alumni association,” the Amici, all of us who once belonged to the Society of the Precious Blood. Incomparable. I value all the years in Cursillo work, and the work with Ralph Martin and Steve Clark in both the Cursillo and the Catholic Pentecostal (Charismatic) Movement.
But I should have stuck to milk. I did not know I was an alcoholic until “chance” brought me to the experience of the gay bar in my adult home town of Canton, Ohio. Beer did me in. I had, by the grace of God, a prayer companion in those days by the name of Bob Zagray. Our weekly prayer together is another beautiful memory in my life. When Bob saw what I was doing to my life (and my business as a restaurateur), he persuaded me to check into a Christian rehab at Eastridge Recovery Community in upstate New York. It was only a few months but it had a tremendous impact on my life. I was back in “religious” life again. Every morning we had meditation and sang psalms. I was introduced to the Jesus Prayer, and it has been my constant companion ever since. I cannot recount the whole effective routine. I learned the 12 Steps of AA under Tom Powers, one of these who helped develop the 12 Steps in the early days of AA. I tried to live them the rest of my life and taught them to others whenever I had the chance to do so. But I have never had a beer or drink of alcohol (except Mass wine in Mass) since the day I entered Eastridge in 1971 escorted by my two brothers, Bud and Lon.
BUT Eastridge failed in another of their objectives – absolute purity, they called it, no sex ever, alone or with anybody except when legally married. I was legally married, but I had discovered the gay bar and somewhat mystified began to discover who I was. That’s another story. A few months later I was divorced and I got involved with MCC Detroit (of which I had been a part of the exploratory group some months earlier). Many mistakes and many moves later I ended up with a gay therapist, Dr. Charles Kuell, (he was not religious, but he was a life-saving therapist) in Los Angles (after serving on the pastoral staff of MCC Detroit, MCC Chicago and MCC Phoenix) while I worked in Rev. Perry’s office and began to understand myself and something about sexuality.
At my therapist’s insistence, I pursued a Master’s and Doctorate in Psychology with specialization in LGBT sexuality – to better understand myself and to eventually be able to help others. From my personal struggle to maintain mental health, know myself, learn how to handle sexuality responsibly, and be OK as a gay Christian, I gained the background that has been so helpful in helping others.
Since I had lost my family in the struggle, I dedicated my life to being not only a life-saving Chuck Kuell, but a spiritual adviser, too. I have summarized my 100 or more books and pamphlets on Sex-Positive Theology into three courses available for free on the Internet just by writing and asking me. (saintaelred@gmail.com). I am called to share this research and experience.
I cannot condense 82 years into a few pages, so I am not going to try any more.
Clint Eastwood
I am trying to find some way to compare my self with Clint Eastwood. Maybe you can see something. Hehe. Or maybe you would compare me with Dolpy. Hehe [But please I would not be flattered if you compare with another old man named Benedict.] I am feeling mischievous, but not as bad as my bishop when he was in seminary.
Only in Hollywood
Eastwood at 80: Getting ready to direct DiCaprio
By Ruben V. Nepales
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 21:14:00 11/05/2010
LOS ANGELES—At 80, Clint Eastwood shows no signs of slowing down. He most recently directed and actively promoted “Hereafter,” a drama about three people searching for answers about the afterlife. Now, he’s getting ready to direct Leonardo DiCaprio.
Strength
Clint is looking good in his octogenarian years. He exudes a quiet, confident strength. Later in the evening, at a party following the premiere of “Hereafter,” he worked the room, disarming guests as he smiled and traded banter. He shook the hands of guests, …
Higher power
“Everybody would unanimously agree that it is a hope,” he said of the belief in the afterlife. “It would be a higher power than all of us. You’re given one opportunity to live in this world. Whether you believe in God, nature or whatever, you have to take advantage of that and do the best you can in the life you have. That’s the hand that you’re dealt with. You play it out. If you’re worrying about the end of it all, you can’t really live the present of it all.”…
Asked to share reflections on his life, Hollywood’s statesman teased about the question’s seeming time-to-retire hint. With a laugh, his famous squinting eyes focusing on the interviewer, Clint said, “Are you trying to tell me something?”
What do you want to accomplish before you die?
There was a lengthy article on this – interviews with a large number of celebrities – in the Philippine Daily Inquirer last week. I am 82 and I expect to die in the next 20 years, so I tried to answer the question not in the newspaper, but here.
I have already and always said I want to finish my autobiographical novel on Jose Rizal and write one on St. Aelred.
I want to learn Filipino, which I am so ashamed of my ignorance. I have paid professional teachers to teach me and then I go out and speak English with everybody and don’t learn.
After I read the newspaper interviews, I realized, deep down, there was more.
I don’t usually agree with what I read in the newspaper about Archbishop Cruz, but I found myself identifying with his “before I die” list for the most part.
Abp. Oscar V. Cruz, retired Archbishop of Lingayen-Dagupan, former president, Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP)
1. To be reconciled with God through a very fervent and penitent confession.
2. To receive forgiveness from people I have hurt.
3. To have lived a life worth living, in the sense that it is a fitting gift back to God.
Every life is a gift from God — but how that life is lived is our gift to God at the end of our life.
4. To have somehow contributed to the amelioration or betterment of some individuals, certain families, and other communities.
5. That what I have written, especially that which outlives me, will be of use to the others I am leaving behind.
Others who awakened similar aspirations in me are:
Yvette Tan, fictionist and author of “Waking the Dead and Other Horror Stories”
4. Write a really good novel or ten: I’m not as prolific as I should be. I have a million ideas that need permanent homes, hopefully on the bookshelves of other people.
5. Pare down all my worldly belongings to what will fit into two carry-ons: I’ve always been in love with the idea of owning just the essentials. It’s very easy to travel the world nowadays and I love the idea of always being ready. The minimalist lifestyle also makes for less headaches, because presumably, you own your things instead of them owning you.
Sr. Dolores Daquilanea, AR, registrar, Colegio de Sta. Rosa Makati.
1. To be reconciled with my God, my Lord, my Spouse—Jesus Christ—for all my shortcomings in my entire Christian and religious life
2. To be able to reconcile with everybody—those I must have offended or been uncharitable to, especially my relatives, friends and those I have worked with
3. To gather my immediate family, whom I have not seen for the longest time, that we may catch up with one another and make up for the time we’ve missed together
4. Since my clan is composed people with different religions/beliefs, long before I was even born, I know I cannot bring them back to the Catholic Faith, but I hope to meet and share with them the Love that only Jesus Christ can give.
5. In my life as a Religious, there’s nothing great I want or hope to do — only to be able to serve God through His people in the apostolate I am assigned to — of course with God’s grace and Mother Mary’s protection.
Now these are the things I should have written the whole blog on. They hit the spot.
-------------------------
“God is Friendship.” (St. Aelred, 1110-1167)
Rev. Richard R. Mickley, CDOS, OSAe, Ph.D.
Bishop, Catholic Diocese of One Spirit, Philippines
Abbot, The Order of St. Aelred
St. Aelred Friendship Society
Current Mailing Address: 33-A Sta. Maria Street, Barrio Kapitolyo, 1603 Pasig City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Mobile Phone: +639209034909
E-mail: saintaelred@gmail.com
Website: http://webspace.webring.com/people/ms/saintaelred/index.html
Profile, LGBT Religious Archive: http://www.lgbtran.org/Profile.aspx?ID=247
E-group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saeffriends
Fr. Richard’s personal blog: http://richardrmickley.blogspot.com/
Catholic Diocese of One Spirit (CDOS) website: http://www.onespiritcatholic.org/
So, what about my 82nd birthday?
In the following paragraphs I will share some thoughts from my past as I look back over 82 years – too much for one sitting, but a few things which pop into my mind. I will quote Cardinal Rosales and Clint Eastwood. And remember Dolphy is 82, too, and he ain’t quittin.
I have ten years to go to catch up with my own devout Catholic housewife mother of ten (who worked in a factory to make bomber parts to help win the war over the Nazi’s and Imperialist Japan).
Those words will ring in my ears forever. She never heard of sex-positive theology, but she welcomed me and my partner to her home. She cooked for us and prepared the spare bedroom for us. She understood my life and my love and my ministry (as an MCC pastor). My father had died long before, but I always felt he understood, too.
May I solicit, maybe for the first time in my life, a birthday present? As you read the following paragraphs, will you select one event or one idea and send me the gift of a bit of feedback, your thoughts on that item? Much appreciated.
The Greatest Joy of my Life
It is a tremendous blessing for a pastor to officiate at a Baptism, especially at an adult Baptism of one whom I have prepared for this sacrament. It is an unequalled and humbling privilege to stand as an Alter Christus (another Christ) in the celebration of the ancient apostolic sacrament of the Eucharist, and yes, too, the laying on of hands in the passing on of the priesthood in apostolic succession. Blessings and privileges, indeed.
But the greatest joy of my life can be expressed in the simplest of terms. The joy of sitting at table with the nine people I love most in this world is not exceeded by any other spiritual, physical, intellectual, or emotional joy. Nothing equals the joy of romping at the zoo or at the beach or at the side yard with them. Packing them into the family station wagon or camper van (beds for all ten) and off we went… Preparing their breakfast and seeing them off to school… Of an evening helping with homework… It was my fate to somehow deprive myself of the perpetuation of that joy, but it can never be denied nor taken away.
Each year for nine years I experienced seeing the “Gift of God” presented right before my eyes, following the labor pains, joyfully suffered by a good and loving mother. My heart leapt for joy and beat with love as I stopped each time on the way home from the hospital to place the newborn treasure on the altar of the Blessed Mother at our parish church, imploring her lifelong watching over, “Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection was left unaided…”
The joy continued on the day of Baptism for each, and on and on till each grew into the outstanding person he or she became with such a wonderful mother. Even the joy of watching son, Rick (now a football coach) catch three passes in a college football game on Father’s Day. Yes, I feel more pride than I deserve to feel in what she and they have become.
Even today at 82, I remember with glee being asked by a bishop (who hired me to work for him as a religious educator) if I felt an inferiority complex having such a beautiful, talented, intelligent, and wonderful wife (obviously superior to me in so many ways). I replied that I was thankful to God for such a great gift to our children and me.
I was always grateful that Fr. Jim Froelich, my seminary classmate, came to our wedding, and along with Fr. Jim McKay and other Brunnerdale Seminary priests who stayed close to our family over the years. And they were there for the funeral of my brother, Louie, killed in a freak accident at 33 on the golf course he had just purchased
Inspired by Fr. Paul and Bishop Jim, but falling short of following their example
My friend, Fr. Paul Breton of California, is very consistent and self-disciplined about regular and punctual newsletters – a personal one every month and sometimes several a week with developing LGBT news. Even as I write he is suffering excruciatingly with shingles, yet he went to his computer, hardly able to see, and wrote a letter to all his friends advising them what to do it ever they had a suspicion of shingles. That’s self sacrifice. And that’s just one of the virtues I could extol about Fr. Paul.Other Memories
I don’t have time to write an autobiography (and who would want to read it anyway?)
But I do hope I will have time to do some biographical work on our national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, just because he deserves to be our national hero as well as one of my idols. As of now there are a couple hundred pages in first draft form – time, time to finish.
Then I have plans for another historical novel, about St. Aelred to bring him out of the shadows of history into real life – since he was so very very real in his life and advocacy of friendship. “If God is Love,” he wrote in his book on same-sex friendship, “then God is Friendship.”
More about “before I die stuff” later.
The cow – 5,740 times
Today at 82 I take it a little easier that I did when I was in grade school. Today I pray the EWTN Mass every day (sometimes twice). It’s partly in Latin (to my delight) and comes from America at 6:00 AM here.
I often flash back, as I have told elsewhere, about learning by heart the Latin prayers of the Mass when I was nine or ten.
By the time I was 12 in Louisville, Ohio, every morning before school I walked with my empty pail down the street to the last remaining farm in the city. (It actually became a city later as a result of an initiative I led when I was President of the Louisville Jaycees.)
I dashed into the sacristy, donned my black cassock, white surplice, and altar slippers (a custom there), and served the morning Mass. (And never ever was there a scandal among the holy priests and altar boys of that church.)
Then quickly to the classroom where I was allowed to sit in the back of the room and eat the breakfast Mom had prepared and put in a brown paper bag for me (since in those days we could not have even a drop of water from midnight before Holy Communion).
Just for fun I calculated how many dates I had with Ole Bessie, every day before school, every evening after school from Grade 1 through Grade 8 before entering Brunnerdale Seminary high school at age 13. Well, it was 5,740 times – plus a couple of leap years (+4).
I thank my very special parents for that wonderful opportunity to become a workaholic – something that for the most part has served me well most of my life – except it was a terrible waterloo for me as a father of the family. More time for work, less time for those who meant the most to me.
So now, what is retirement for a workaholic. I loved my work as an MCC pastor. In their wisdom, their by laws call for retirement at 65. I slipped by till they caught up with me at 66. So now for the last decade and a half I am down to 18 hours a day in retirement.
Wedding Bells are Ringing
As of now, I still have the fulfilment of bringing joy to numerous committed couples who come to me to bless and celebrate with them their wedding vows.
I just got a call today to fly off to a far away island on a three-day notice – “so we can have our wedding on our first anniversary.” (My caring partner has some rules they must follow if they whisk me off to a far away island, “Do they know how old you are?”)
Speaking of my caring partner, compañero of 12 years, without compromising his privacy, I can only wholeheartedly sing the praises of this man who has faithfully been by my side, caring, supporting, helping, loving,and being loved. I am extremely proud of him professionally. After teaching in the top public and private high schools in the country, he is now teaching in the premier state university.
And he is following his passion in yoga (Bikram) all the way to being a finalist in the national championship competition after three months of practice. His silver medal said 1st place, but the other one said champion, and our friends called to say they saw him on TV.
Tears were rolling down my cheeks. Imagine after only three months to score so well in the national competition, and he even lost two weeks in bed with a flu virus the week before the competition. (First runner-up to a man who is already an internationally trained Bikram yoga instructor.) Expert in swimming, expert in computer, expert teacher, now award-winning yoga asana champion eligible to compete in the International Championship in LA in February 2011. [I celebrated my 82nd birthday participating (sweating) in a 90-minute Bikram yoga class with him. Well, I couldn’t do things like stand on one leg and wrap the other one around my neck, but I was kinda proud of what I could do...]
Recurring thoughts from the past
In seminary I was not known for pranks, like my bishop (see where it got him – up, up the ecclesiastical ladder). I did like to play cards when we had “free day,” go for walks around the lake, and take care of the grotto of the Blessed Mother. I loved my job as sacristan (setting up everything behind the scenes) in the chapel of the major seminary, especially the intricate requirements of the semi-annual ordinations. I wrote for the Society’s publications, and I treasured those years of monastic life in the seminary.
After serving in the United States Army with service in the Korean War (at the same time as Fidel Ramos whom I met as future president of the Philippines), I found it fulfiling and served in the reserves for several years.
Later I experienced spiritual joys and spiritual ups and downs.
For example, my own Cursillo in Christian Community Living and the dozens (was it hundreds) of Cursillos as team member, speaker, rector, or spiritual director (in the Cursillo type Excel movement I founded in MCC).
In the Cursillo and Pentecostal Prayer meetings we were too occupied with prayer and spirituality to get sidetracked by sexuality issues. In another setting, I had my encounter with “exorcism.” I had read Fr. Morton Kelsey’s book on the Holy Spirit and jumped at the opportunity to attend his seminar on the Holy Spirit in Michigan. I had never spoken the word aloud in my life, but there I was, in a hotel room with the renowned author and some of his assistants. I was crying my heart out, kneeling on the floor before him as he prayed over me for my purging from all traces of homosexuality. The Holy Spirit did not pick up on that prayer, but I sure was confused. I did not know myself any better after than before that emotional experience.
The Experience in the Mountains of Upstate New York
It can be called the Eastridge Experience. I had the seminary and religious life experience for years and still value my membership in the “alumni association,” the Amici, all of us who once belonged to the Society of the Precious Blood. Incomparable. I value all the years in Cursillo work, and the work with Ralph Martin and Steve Clark in both the Cursillo and the Catholic Pentecostal (Charismatic) Movement.
But I should have stuck to milk. I did not know I was an alcoholic until “chance” brought me to the experience of the gay bar in my adult home town of Canton, Ohio. Beer did me in. I had, by the grace of God, a prayer companion in those days by the name of Bob Zagray. Our weekly prayer together is another beautiful memory in my life. When Bob saw what I was doing to my life (and my business as a restaurateur), he persuaded me to check into a Christian rehab at Eastridge Recovery Community in upstate New York. It was only a few months but it had a tremendous impact on my life. I was back in “religious” life again. Every morning we had meditation and sang psalms. I was introduced to the Jesus Prayer, and it has been my constant companion ever since. I cannot recount the whole effective routine. I learned the 12 Steps of AA under Tom Powers, one of these who helped develop the 12 Steps in the early days of AA. I tried to live them the rest of my life and taught them to others whenever I had the chance to do so. But I have never had a beer or drink of alcohol (except Mass wine in Mass) since the day I entered Eastridge in 1971 escorted by my two brothers, Bud and Lon.
BUT Eastridge failed in another of their objectives – absolute purity, they called it, no sex ever, alone or with anybody except when legally married. I was legally married, but I had discovered the gay bar and somewhat mystified began to discover who I was. That’s another story. A few months later I was divorced and I got involved with MCC Detroit (of which I had been a part of the exploratory group some months earlier). Many mistakes and many moves later I ended up with a gay therapist, Dr. Charles Kuell, (he was not religious, but he was a life-saving therapist) in Los Angles (after serving on the pastoral staff of MCC Detroit, MCC Chicago and MCC Phoenix) while I worked in Rev. Perry’s office and began to understand myself and something about sexuality.
At my therapist’s insistence, I pursued a Master’s and Doctorate in Psychology with specialization in LGBT sexuality – to better understand myself and to eventually be able to help others. From my personal struggle to maintain mental health, know myself, learn how to handle sexuality responsibly, and be OK as a gay Christian, I gained the background that has been so helpful in helping others.
Since I had lost my family in the struggle, I dedicated my life to being not only a life-saving Chuck Kuell, but a spiritual adviser, too. I have summarized my 100 or more books and pamphlets on Sex-Positive Theology into three courses available for free on the Internet just by writing and asking me. (saintaelred@gmail.com). I am called to share this research and experience.
I cannot condense 82 years into a few pages, so I am not going to try any more.
Clint Eastwood
Only in Hollywood
Eastwood at 80: Getting ready to direct DiCaprio
By Ruben V. Nepales
Philippine Daily Inquirer
First Posted 21:14:00 11/05/2010
LOS ANGELES—At 80, Clint Eastwood shows no signs of slowing down. He most recently directed and actively promoted “Hereafter,” a drama about three people searching for answers about the afterlife. Now, he’s getting ready to direct Leonardo DiCaprio.
Strength
Clint is looking good in his octogenarian years. He exudes a quiet, confident strength. Later in the evening, at a party following the premiere of “Hereafter,” he worked the room, disarming guests as he smiled and traded banter. He shook the hands of guests, …
Higher power
“Everybody would unanimously agree that it is a hope,” he said of the belief in the afterlife. “It would be a higher power than all of us. You’re given one opportunity to live in this world. Whether you believe in God, nature or whatever, you have to take advantage of that and do the best you can in the life you have. That’s the hand that you’re dealt with. You play it out. If you’re worrying about the end of it all, you can’t really live the present of it all.”…
Asked to share reflections on his life, Hollywood’s statesman teased about the question’s seeming time-to-retire hint. With a laugh, his famous squinting eyes focusing on the interviewer, Clint said, “Are you trying to tell me something?”
What do you want to accomplish before you die?
There was a lengthy article on this – interviews with a large number of celebrities – in the Philippine Daily Inquirer last week. I am 82 and I expect to die in the next 20 years, so I tried to answer the question not in the newspaper, but here.
I have already and always said I want to finish my autobiographical novel on Jose Rizal and write one on St. Aelred.
I want to learn Filipino, which I am so ashamed of my ignorance. I have paid professional teachers to teach me and then I go out and speak English with everybody and don’t learn.
After I read the newspaper interviews, I realized, deep down, there was more.
I don’t usually agree with what I read in the newspaper about Archbishop Cruz, but I found myself identifying with his “before I die” list for the most part.
Abp. Oscar V. Cruz, retired Archbishop of Lingayen-Dagupan, former president, Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines (CBCP)
1. To be reconciled with God through a very fervent and penitent confession.
2. To receive forgiveness from people I have hurt.
3. To have lived a life worth living, in the sense that it is a fitting gift back to God.
Every life is a gift from God — but how that life is lived is our gift to God at the end of our life.
4. To have somehow contributed to the amelioration or betterment of some individuals, certain families, and other communities.
5. That what I have written, especially that which outlives me, will be of use to the others I am leaving behind.
Others who awakened similar aspirations in me are:
Yvette Tan, fictionist and author of “Waking the Dead and Other Horror Stories”
4. Write a really good novel or ten: I’m not as prolific as I should be. I have a million ideas that need permanent homes, hopefully on the bookshelves of other people.
5. Pare down all my worldly belongings to what will fit into two carry-ons: I’ve always been in love with the idea of owning just the essentials. It’s very easy to travel the world nowadays and I love the idea of always being ready. The minimalist lifestyle also makes for less headaches, because presumably, you own your things instead of them owning you.
Sr. Dolores Daquilanea, AR, registrar, Colegio de Sta. Rosa Makati.
1. To be reconciled with my God, my Lord, my Spouse—Jesus Christ—for all my shortcomings in my entire Christian and religious life
2. To be able to reconcile with everybody—those I must have offended or been uncharitable to, especially my relatives, friends and those I have worked with
3. To gather my immediate family, whom I have not seen for the longest time, that we may catch up with one another and make up for the time we’ve missed together
4. Since my clan is composed people with different religions/beliefs, long before I was even born, I know I cannot bring them back to the Catholic Faith, but I hope to meet and share with them the Love that only Jesus Christ can give.
5. In my life as a Religious, there’s nothing great I want or hope to do — only to be able to serve God through His people in the apostolate I am assigned to — of course with God’s grace and Mother Mary’s protection.
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“God is Friendship.” (St. Aelred, 1110-1167)
Rev. Richard R. Mickley, CDOS, OSAe, Ph.D.
Bishop, Catholic Diocese of One Spirit, Philippines
Abbot, The Order of St. Aelred
St. Aelred Friendship Society
Current Mailing Address: 33-A Sta. Maria Street, Barrio Kapitolyo, 1603 Pasig City, Metro Manila, Philippines
Mobile Phone: +639209034909
E-mail: saintaelred@gmail.com
Website: http://webspace.webring.com/people/ms/saintaelred/index.html
Profile, LGBT Religious Archive: http://www.lgbtran.org/Profile.aspx?ID=247
E-group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/saeffriends
Fr. Richard’s personal blog: http://richardrmickley.blogspot.com/
Catholic Diocese of One Spirit (CDOS) website: http://www.onespiritcatholic.org/
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